Silence is Golden

For the first time in my life I am finally able to relate to that grumpy old cat lady. (except I don't have any cats and I am really not that old) Maybe it is part of growing up and having a job?

My neighbor likes to play loud angry music (if you can call it music). It has more base than I thought possible since it literally shakes my walls. She plays it ALL. THE. TIME. I am guessing that the reason she plays it so loud is probably because she lost more of her hearing last Tuesday when she also choose to play it at 11:30pm. Being the adult that I am, I used to bang against the wall to let her know that I can hear her music. There have even been two times when I called the apartment complex to have them send up the apartment's "cop" to tell her to quiet down. A few weeks ago I decided to woman up and go over there to talk to her. The second I banged on the wall the music instantly went off. Mission completed. Having solved the problem, I went back to my room. Since then I have knocked on her door twice to get the music to shut off.

Yesterday was one of those days. I was in my PJs and glasses and so had no intention of talking to her. I banged on the door and retreated back to my room. She comes out into the hall and screams "WHO THE F BANGED ON MY DOOR!? WHAT THE F! DONT F*ING BANG ON MY DOOR!" (of course she did not just say "f") I did NOT confront her. She seemed very mad, dangerous, and she listens to angry music, so who knows what she is capable of! (I instead tippytoed to my door and double-locked it. coward, I know)

Actual thoughts that crossed my mind on how to solve the problem:
1. Talk to my apartment complex and make sure shes not living next to me before I resign.
2. Hang a printed sign on her door that says "Silence is Golden"
3. Find a police outfit and just go over there myself and talk to her everytime the music comes on (yes, this would be hard to pull off- what kind of black clunky shoes do they even wear?)
4. Vaseline her door knob- maybe she will be so annoyed she will move (I wont actually do this one either, but it sounds so good in theory)
5. A coworker suggested writing a fake letter from the apartment complex that asks her to keep the noise down. I think there is probably a law against that, but he seemed to think that it might actually shut her up.

Any ideas? Surely she must not have a job? Is there something else I can do that is alittle more practical than options 2-5? Someone must have dealt with this before... I am looking for creative ideas!

I have a drug addiction- So what?

Hi, my name is Mallory and I am addicted to Caffeine. (Hi Mallory) I have been clean for 4 hours now (applause) but I have no intention of quitting in the near future (sigh).

I was not always this way. It starts slowly. At first it is just in the mornings. Set up your computer, check your emails, go to the break room for some coffee (200mg/8oz). Then you find yourself adding a diet coke (47mg/12oz) at lunch. Suddenly the 3 o'clock slump gets replaced with a redbull (85mg/8oz), tea becomes a staple choice of beverage (70mg/8oz), and if you have to stay at work past 8? there is just no helping you.  I am not just a social drinker. Caffeine gives me that little bits of energy that I need to keep me awake throughout a boring day of accounting. The energy helps me stay focused and makes me nicer to be around. In busy season? energy is a must and sleep just don't cut it alone anymore. Thank you little drug for making me a better employee and happier person.

But there is a catch. I have not been sleeping soundly. I can't help but think that this may be linked to the Caffeine. But I can't quit. Not now, not during busy season. According to WebMD, the symptoms of withdrawl include headache, tiredness/fatigue, decreased energy/activeness, decreased alertness/attentiveness, drowsiness/sleepiness, decreased contentedness/well-being, depressed mood, difficulty concentrating,  irritability, and felling muzzy/foggy/not clearheaded. There just is never a good time for these.


Are we really "addicted"? or do we just throw that term around loosely? According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders by the American Psychiatric Association, you only need THREE (3) of the following to be addicted:
(1) tolerance- I am not upset when my coworkers have their morning starbucks
(2) substance-specific withdrawal syndrome- I had my first caffeine headache one sunday at the movies with my friend lauren (who ironically writes a health blog and demonstrates GREAT selfcontrol)
(3) substance often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than expected- sometimes I work later than others, okay?
(4) persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control use- I ALWAYS want to quit. I wouldn't write this post if I wasn't slightly guilty...
(5) a great deal of time spent in activities necessary to obtain, use, or recover from the effects of the substance- Obtain? not so much, there is a starbucks on every corner. Use? it only takes about 3 minutes to down a diet dr. pepper. Recover? does not sleeping count?
(6) important social, occupational, or recreational activities given up or reduced because of the substance- Yes, we have DMD (Diet Mountain Dew) time at the client's site. I try not to participate. Peer pressure SOMETIMES wins though.
(7) use continued despite knowledge of a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance.


I am addicted. But probably so are you. (over 90% of adults in America are). Sure, we care about things like gas, natural resources, the national debt.. blah blah blah... But could you imagine if they suddenly wiped the country clean of Caffeine? Oh, the outbreak!

So here is my question. Caffeine, Friend or Foe? Or simply that Frenemy that I love to hate? Are you addicted? Do you try to stop? (Is the new "Jolt Gum" for addicts who just cant cut it completely?)

Tax Tuesday: Big things come in standard packages

In the real world one size does not fit all. No, I do not care what the label says. That sweater can not possibly fit every girl in this room. Or that scarf? some people want a long one, others want it short. We don't all have the same shoe size. Infact, I don't even have the same shoe size in different brands. But in taxes? see that's a different story. Uncle Sam gave us a standard deduction that is a one-size-fits-all kinda deal.

Think of it like a spending allowance. In highschool my parents decided that my brother and me could spend $10 a week. It doesn't matter if he spent all $10 on breakfast tacos and I bought a new shirt. My parents could figure "eh, the roughly spent $10 each". Uncle Sam figures that we roughly spend $5,700 a year on deductible expenses. (No, he doesn't actually GIVE us the money the way my parents did)

Cool. So we can take the standard deduction of $5,700? Sure! or you can itemize and take the "itemized deduction" instead. I can't actually give you tax advice, but I can give you some facts from the IRS and food for thought from Forbes.

1. The Standard Deduction is not too shabby. Save all your receipts? break a few limbs to increase your medical expense? donate to charities youve never heard of? turns out, you might STILL save more by the standard deduction. 

2. You probably can't deduct your medical expenses anyways. You can only deduct the amount of out of pocket medical expenses OVER 7/5% of your income. So that $80 I spent for my eye exam? not 7.5% of my income. Unless you have a serious illness, you probably wont come close. (don't you dare think "that sucks"- YOU ARE HEALTHY! go skiing or something)

3. How much is your mortgage interest anyways? None if you are like me and live in an apartment. But if you DO own your house? you need to do the math to make sure that you are going to received a bigger deduction than your standard deduction.

4. Charitable Deduction- you might give away your clothes, but I hope you kept the receipt! If you get selected for an IRS audit, you need proof of your charitable deductions. Oh yea, and giving a dollar to the guy on the street corner doesn't count.

5. Miscellaneous Deductions are limited too. (2% of your income) For things like: Tax preparation fees (you should have none if you do them yourself), Safe deposit box fees (count me out), Unreimbursed job related expenses (do my shoes count?... sadly no)

Do I really need to do TWO tax returns and then just take the standard deduction anyways? probably not if you are just out of college, rent, perfectly healthy, and don't even know what a safe deposit box is. BUT I would recommend looking into it (mostly to CMA) and here is a cute little calculator to do it for you. 

Help! I can't afford a work wardrobe

Work clothes. Those perfectly pressed pants, pencil skirts, and sharp button down that just screams "Screw Kelly Clarkson, I am the new Miss Independent". Sigh.

When I think "work clothes", my mind instantly goes to Banana Republic (my personal love), Ann Taylor Loft, Saks off Fifth, Nordstrom Rack,  and JCrew. These are the ideal work clothes that makes every working girl feel like shes "made it". They are also the safe outfits of choice that you KNOW will fit in with your new job in the office. Heres the problem: ONE pair of trousers will set you back $85 at Banana, and $250 at JCrew. ONE blouse? $70 and $100 respectively. And that just gets you through Monday!

DON'T DO IT GIRLS!

Secrets to Success?
1. Don't think of it as a "Wardrobe". If you are starting a new job, you don't need a whole month's worth of outfits, just enough to make it through the first few days so you can see what the other girls are wearing. Sure would stink to buy tons of jackets and find out that everyone in the office emphasizes the CASUAL of dressy casual.
2. Target and Old Navy? you are looking at your new best friends! Who says you need to buy a cardigan from Loft when you can get the same one from Old Navy for cheaper? Best part is.. no one knows but you.
3. That doesn't mean you can't steal inspiration. Check out JCrew's website. See what is "instyle" for work, and let that help you wade through the "is this okay for work?" questions you are bound to have.
4. Sale shop. You are going to work for years, you can wait until the blouse goes on sale before you buy it.
5. Beware of the Dry Clean Only. This saves you $40 a week! Too late? well try not to make too much of a mess and you can wear your pants more than once.
6. Ask around. Every job is different, every office. Ask what is the normal work attire for the office from a friend who works their. Or read the manual- most companies seem to have the dress code rules laid out. When in doubt? go conservative.

Stretch your money. In the long run, it is better to have a week's worth of clothes instead of just clothes for Monday. (And good luck to Kelly O on her new job- the inspiration for this post!)

What do you think? Ideas? Other tips? Where do you get your work clothes?

Tax Tuesday: Just another shopping trip

Shopping for tax software.. well, the first word sounds fun. But, thats about it.

So now (if you followed your homework from last week), you have gathered your tax items that you need. It is time figure out HOW you are going to do your taxes. Yuck.

It is sort of like a good valentines day date. You know you want to wear heels (or do your taxes in this case), but you just cant decide which one (HR Block, Turbo Tax, Efile..) If you were trying to figure out which shoes to wear, you would try them all on. Well you can't do that with filing taxes unless you want to spend all Saturday "shopping" for tax programs. (And who wants to be shopping for tax programs when you can be shopping for that next perfect heels). Think of reading this blog as saving yourself time on Saturday to do things you really want to do. (like shopping).

The down-and-dirty, save-time-for-shopping options:

1. Hire an accountant (aka the "expensive Louis Vuitton shoes"). Odds are, if you are in your 20s you probably don't need this option. Who wants to spend that much money just to pay more money to the government (or dip into your refund money). Do you NEED to go to HR Block? probably not, unless you have complications with your return (a major life event, tuns of interests, trusts, inheritance, small business, etc.) Of course, if you DO have a trust fund and tons of interest, I am ALWAYS taking personal donations (between us, we can call it a charitable contribution)
2. Free-File on the IRS website (aka the "$3 Old Navy flip flips"). If you make $58,000 or less, you have the option to free file on the IRS Website. AWESOME option if your return isn't too complicated and you aren't making over the limit. Make sure you go through the IRS website so you can avoid filing fees. (I also think doing your own taxes is good because you really get to see where your money comes from and what exactly goes into the dreaded term "taxes")
3. Turbo-tax or an at home solution. Questions to ask yourself when picking a software: Do I really need it? Will my company pay for it? Does it work with my computer software? Does it come with a guarantee?  Oh, and this might be obvious, but beware of buying tax software on ebay. The 2005 edition just wont cut it with this year's tax laws!

And thus concludes your tax season lecture of the day. Happy Tuesday. Do your taxes, then buy some shoes.

Tax Tuesday & Alphabet Soup

It is amazing that no one really cares about my "CPA" or "tax accounting job" until recently. Suddenly all of my friends are incredibly interested and find themselves asking questions like "Wait, so what do you do again?" and "So, you are going to help me with my taxes right?" I wish I could do all of my friend's taxes (do you really want to trust me with all that personal information?) but alas, it is tax season (clearly) and thus I am working WAY to many hours as it is. And do I really feel that confident?

Taxes have become a hot topic, and especially for young professionals who may be filing their first tax return by themselves. Over the last week I have heard people who were worried about how they would file, what they needed, would they take all the right exemptions, and are they still going to get a refund? This isn't just from my "non-finance" friends. The anticipation of tax season even extends into my tax accounting coworkers- who although we know HOW to read tax forms and code, may not have done individual taxes since that one class way back in college that we barely remember.

We have ten weeks until our tax returns are due. That is ten tuesdays until the beloved April 15th, and so I have decided to try to give tips, advice, and help each tuesday regarding the terrible taxes.  (Please note, if you are one of those people who do not even know what April 15th is- you should probably just take your information to HR Block)

Whether you decide to do your own taxes or hire an accountant, you need to gather information and prepare. The form names seems to cause anxiety. "W- WHAT? Schedule M? I...? something something T? EZ? Which reminds me of alphabet soup. (random letters. little meaning)

W-2 - This form is used to report wages earned by employees and the taxes withheld from them. Your employer should provide you with this form (most likely in the mail). Make sure you get this form and also save it. (for some reason it looks like junk mail when it comes in.

1098-T,E -  These forms refer to student loan interest statements (E) and tuition statements (T). Student loans? yes, this form can save you money. But if your university is like mine, they don't just mail it out to you. You have to (1) try to figure out your super old password and user name or (2) fax a request for one to be mailed. Oh yea, and they won't mail it until two weeks after the request is received (really!?)

1099 INT, DIV, B, MISC - The 1099 series reports other income (besides what is on your W-2) Interest (I) Dividends (D) Sales Proceeds (B) and that random side job (MISC). That old mutual fund you had from your childhood that is now in your name? Yep, you better get your parents to mail you the 1099. Independent contractor? Start filling out your 1099-MISC. Mortgage? Yes, you need your mortgage interest statement.

K-1 Statements- These report the income earned from any trusts, partnerships or small businesses you might have been involved with or invested in.

What else do you need to gather?  IRA contributions, education expenses, childcare expenses, healthcare fees, gambling losses (hey- these finally might come in handy!), summary of moving expenses. (There are also great resources on the IRA's Indiviudals website -  I visit it when I have trouble sleeping at night)

I am pretty sure I have just lost every blog reader I ever had. Don't worry, tax tuesday will have shorter and more informative blog posts for the next 9 weeks. This week's homework? Call your alma mater, call your parents, call your company, and make sure you get all of the statements you need.  

What do you think? Helpful? Or does the subject of taxes make you run frantically from your computer? 

The Rotating Shirt System: Maybe boys are actually on to something

I am sure you have all heard about this system- the guys in my office talk about it all the time. They have all of their shirts lined up in their closet and then they simply go down the row and pick the next shirt "in line". So simple, yet so genius.

Is it possible for girls to implement this system? I do not think that boys are always right (especially not with fashion), but they really could be on to something here:

How much time do we waste everyday trying to "pickout our clothes"?
1. I  start with "what I feel like wearing", which always tends to be the same three things (which I sadly can't wear everyday).
2. Am I having a fat day or a skinny day? This causes way to much internal reflection for 8am anyways.
3. Did I wear that color yesterday? Or three times this week already?
4. Do I have shoes to wear with this? (Is there anyway I can pull together yet another outfit that I can wear by red heels with?)
5. Do I have jewlery?
6. Can I find an undershirt tank top/matching pants/stylish belt, etc?

If I could come up with 15 outfits (that I probably already have in my closet, but get pushed to the back because "I never feel like wearing blue"), I could have a different outfit every day without even thinking about when I wore that sweater last. Could this work?

I shared this theory with one of the guys from work (Richard) who is on this "rotating system". He explained that it would work even better if he washed his clothes after every use. (Ew. Mental note to self, try not to sit next to Richard on his second or third round).  Ladies- who is in for trying the rotating shirt system and enjoying an extra 10 minutes of sleep a night? Guys- please try to wash your clothes more often.

The Boyfriend Fund

I had a serious boyfirend in college. We broke up. I had left my stylish, although uncomfortable stiletto boots in his car days earlier. (No, I did not walk around barefoot, I had flipflops) True to breakup form I could not see him to get the shoes back, so I instead discovered retail therapy. I DO NOT reccomend this to anyone. I am a believer in budgets and this is not in anyone's budget. (although if you see a break up in your future, it wouldn't hurt to add that line in a few months prior)

What I did realize over the next few months was actually the amount of money I saved. Think about it. Birthdays, aniversaries, christmas, new years, that new dress for date night, random presents, valentines day, etc. I decided that if I wasn't spending that money on him, I should spend it (or some of it) on me. Just because I didn't have a boyfriend didn't mean that I didn't deserve to be spoiled from time to time.

According to the National Retail Federation the average American spends $103.00 on valentines day. ($14.1 billion dollars for the entire nation) For those of you who are in a relationship? I hope you start planning RIGHT NOW to save this kind of money for that big day. For the rest of us? I don't need to spend $100, but surely I can treat myself to a $30 massage and a cocktail with my best single girl friends.

For those of you singles out there wearing black and sitting in self pity- Get up. Treat yourself to something- maybe buy yourself some jewlery? (you will probably like it better than that 6 foot stuffed animal in the long run anyways) and celebrate the extra savings in your bank account!

There are umbrella people and then there are people who get wet

To be honest, I do not think I am qualified to write about this topic. I am that person who, on a rainy day, is frantically running to her car with her coat over her head to keep her hair from getting wet. Yes, I sacrifice my comfort in the cold weather for the composure of my hair (sorry mom) but really? are the people inside going to notice my frizzy-rained-on-hair or are they going to notice that I was cold for the five minutes that it took me to sprint in the rain. That is not the point.

I heard this quote from the partner in my office as we were preparing for the snow and ice storm that was possibly going to leave us out of the office for the day. She meant it as being pleasantly surprised that we were all taking everything home that we needed so for work. She was happy that we were so prepared. I, on the otherhand, was not as much. I was brought back to the days of being a kid praying for the snow/ice to hit so that I could stay home and have a free unexpected vacation on a tuesday.  Who doesn't want to get to stay home without getting introuble and without being sick?

We got our storm. And we had our "umbrellas".

Turns out working from home is not as much fun as I hoped it would be. I spent all day in my sweatpants, but working from home isn't quite the dream I imagined.

1. There is the issue of actually starting to work. I might as well sleep an extra, well deserved hour. I should clean my apartment up because, well, you can't work in a dirty apartment. And I need to set up the perfect work environment (pens, water, coffee, calculator)
2. Asking questions. It is hard to ask questions to someone over the computer. Even from a multimedia generation that grew up having intimate conversations over AOL instant messenger, I find it difficult to ask questions and seek help without my senior at my computer screen and actually seeing the problem.
3. Motivation. How can you work when no one around you is working? Is it possible that I lack that internal motivation to work unless others are? Maybe this is why I studied so much better throughout college while in a library. Moral support.

There are three things I take away from today: (1) I have a new found appreciation for actually working in the office (2) I find myself praying for ice before going to bed... we didn't prepare for two days (3) Maybe it is time that I buy an extra umbrella for my car... couldn't hurt, right?