Tax Tuesday: Show me the money!

Note: If you owe money to the IRS, you can stop reading now. This post will only make you sad. (and no one wants to be sad)

So you have gathered the paperwork, picked a method to file, filed... and now you are checking your bank account and mail everyday for the increase in your financial status.

If you efiled (as I encouraged you to do!), you should get your refund in 75 hours. Don't wait on your computer clicking refresh every 10 seconds.. it is the IRS afterall, and they this rough estimate can vary based on how many returns came in at once.

If you filed a paper return? It should take 3-4 weeks. (what!? but im used to getting paid every 2 weeks.... welp, should have efiled)

Curious just where you stand? (of course you are! who DOESN'T want their money?) Well, the IRS was sick of phone calls from impatient taxpayers (or should I say, taxreceivers?) so they created a website that lets you check your status! Wheres My Refund? All you need is (1) your social security number (2) your filing status (3) and your refund amount.

Happy waiting...

Love where you live

When I travel to another city (in the US, or outside the states) I imagine what my life would be like in that city. I think of how amazing it would be to wander the Louvre on a Saturday, or take run by the ocean before work.

I had drinks with a guy who truly loved where he lived (the city that is) I mean truly, deeply, loved everything about the city and its culture. Of course this made me want to sell Dallas, so I thought of every positive I could possibly think of to share about the Big D. Turns out excitement can be contagious and I realized I liked the city I lived in. (But again, not as much as this guy liked his hometown)

It is important that you love the city you live in. You do, after all, spend way more time in that city than you do on vacation. Have you ever stopped to think that some people actually go on vacation to see your home town? What draws them there? I have no research to back this up, but I think you are happier overall if you love where you live.

How do you do love where you live?
1. Play tourist for a day- go to all the sites that you think an outsider would go to if they were visiting. (Frommer's is actually free online - try to knock off every "To Do" on the list)
2. Always root for the home team - (unless they are playing the spurs) I can't help but think there isn't some sort of bonding a city goes through when the home team wins. They honk at eachother, drink with eachother, and are generally united in city pride.
3. Appreciate the view. Whether its a skyline, a beach, a forest, a quaint neighborhood... every city has something. (guilty. I live by the skyline and forget to really appreciate it unless I am showing it off)
4. Enjoy a dinner out. We forget that we might live in a city fabulous restaurants (because we are cheap) and then go on vacation, splurge, and think other places have WAY better food. Guess what? A night out where you live to experience a good meal is cheaper than a whole vacation. On vacation we try to "eat like the locals"... in your own town, don't you think you should BE that local?

I challenge you to try one (or all) of my random ideas to work on loving where you live. You just never know when you may have to move. Any other ideas? Open to suggestions, ideas, or any research to back up my hypothesis!

Don't Talk to Strangers... usually

Set the stage: defenseless girl, walking home from late yoga class at 9pm. (In a relatively safe neighborhood, but still close to downtown Dallas).

I notice that a guy is following me, but I can't turn around because... well... that would just be weird. And I am in a calm yoga state of mind anyways. He follows me to my apartment complex. I think, "Oh isn't that weird? He lives in my apartment complex." He follows me to my building (we have four in my apartments). "Oh isn't that weird? He lives in my building in my apartment complex." He follows me in. Then follows me to my side of the building (we have two split sides) "Oh isn't that weird? He lives in my side of my building in my apartment complex." He follows me up my staircase (there are three- with 15 apartments in each one) "Oh isn't that weird? He lives in my staircase on my side of the building in my apartment complex."

Then he stops on my floor. (4 apartments total) This is where I FINALLY lose my yoga chia and start to panic.

Turns out he is my neighbor. and he was in my yoga class. and we went to yoga together the next morning.

This is not always the case though. The bigger questions are: Why wasn't I paying attention? Why did I let him follow me in? What should I have done? What would I have done if the stranger had been bad?

What are simple safety tips that every savvy girl should know?
1. Don't panic- at the same time, PAY ATTENTION, unlike me. Using your brain? most important. If you panic while walking from the mall to your car, you wont be able to think clearly and figure out a strategy out.
2. Take a self defense class. Would it hurt to know how to throw a decent punch? Don't have time? Watch a self defense video.
3. Have your cellphone on you. And if you are like my friend Kelly- Have. It. Charged. ;) If its dead, well, you could be too. (thats sick, I know)
4. Carry some Mace. The only place I have seen it is an auto supply shop, but I hear you get get it at walmart too.
5. Park under a lamp post. This makes so much sense but I never actually think about it. And park close to the store, shorter the walk, less time for trouble.
6. If walking? choose larger streets. Even if you same time taking the back road, it just could be worth it.
7. Don't listen to music on your walk. Backstreet Boys will be just as good Back at your apartment and off the Back Streets. That way you can listen for people following you and pay attention to what is going on around you.
8. Don't be afraid to run. This hurts to write... BUT, don't be afraid to kick off those heels and run home/car/etc if needed. You can always buy new shoes (ouch)...
9. Do some online research for more tips. Hey, its cheaper than online shopping. Try My Optum Health. or NYPD's Online Tips.

Or? you can always just get a sexy body guard like Kim Kardashian. But let's be real, who has that in their budget?

Yes, some strangers are just innocent yoga-doing-neighbors. Others? not so flexible and friendly. Don't be afraid, but be aware. (Do as I say, not as I do. Or did.)

Tax Tuesday: What Santa and Congress have in common

You better not shout (Yes, it is frustrating to do taxes), you better not cry (Okay, so you might not have a refund this year), you better watch out (hope you saved your receipts...), I'm telling you why.... Congress is coming to town (and collecting taxes)

Yes, there is a strange similarity between the IRS and Santa. (I want to point out the common misconception that the IRS does not actually write the tax law, it just administers Congress's work... probably why taxes are so messed up?) The IRS and Santa invade out homes once a year. The reward, whether it is a tax refund/ lower taxes or presents is directly correlated to your actions all year long - if you are a "good" boy or girl or citizen all year (giving to charity or playing well with others). The punishment, whether it is paying higher taxes or coal has the same correlation.

Both Santa and the IRS try all year to "teach" us to be better. Seems like the two of them are more manipulative than some people's crazy Ex's.  We all know what a "good" boy or girl is like in Santa's eyes, but what about the governments?

1. You should grow up and get married- you get to file jointly!
2. You should buy a home- we will let deduct your interest. Still not good enough? Here, have a tax credit!
3. You should have kids- Its hard enough, so you deserve a deduction for dependents.
4. Your kids should have child care- this way you can work, get more money, and pay more taxes. But we will give you a break on child care.
5. You should go to school- cant afford it? we will help you out
6. You should not smoke or drink or tan- hey, we can implement a sin tax to punish you unhealthy people
7. You should take care of your elders- qualified relative deduction.
8. You should give to charity- charitable contribution
9. You should still take care of your kids if you get divorced- thats right. we will make you pay it AND not charge the poor caregiver income tax on the child support.
10. You should save your money- we just might not tax you on it.

What manipulative people those politicians are. But then again? so is Santa. I guess someone has to teach us right from wrong once we reach adulthood.

They see you when youre sleeping, they know when youre awake (and working so you can pay taxes), They know if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake. (Does this not creep anyone else out?)

Is Wishing Overrated?

My birthday is on Thursday. (If you found my blog through facebook, you probably already know that). A girl at work today asked me "So what are you going to wish for?". Two thoughts came to my head: (1) Ummm, aren't you NOT supposed to ask someone that? (2) Holy moses, I have no idea!

I basically spent all of 2010 "wishing" to pass the CPA exam. You think I am kidding? Every eyelash that fell, every time the clock hit 11:11, everytime my necklace clasp fell to the front.... I literally ran outside to wish on the first star I saw each night. (couldn't hurt right?) I quite honestly wished to pass REG On. My. Birthday. Cake. (I can only tell you now since that darn thing is over, I'm pretty sure thats how it works).

But since those dreadful tests ended I can't really think of a true, hope with all your might, wish. Sure, there is the cliche "I hope to win the lottery" but I havn't actually ever bought a ticket. (and I am pretty sure that is the first step)

Is wishing no longer the norm in your 20s? (something better left to elementry school) Did we become too practical and realistic to wish on birthday candles? Am I the only one who still holds my breath when I drive by a cementery? Or has the sudden erge to punch someone when they see a volkswagen?  For the record I WILL wish something on my birthday candles (no wish I MAY, wish I MIGHT... wish I WILL) and I encourage everyone to think of their next wish for 11:11 or when the opportunity arises.

Tax Tuesday: The big move

The only constant is change -Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher. (Yes, I had to wikipedia the quote so I could correctly cite the right person. I honestly don't know who that guy is. But hes pretty smart and his saying is famous)

This is true when it comes to jobs. When I look at most of my college friends they have graduated college, spent so much time looking for just any job due to the economy, built up their resume, and then switched. Or started with a job, decided they never should have picked their major, and switched. Many times friends have left the city, state, and country to do so. (Not that either of these apply to me and I'm not looking to leave my job, I am simply noting the trend). 

Yes, we are in a world where people change their jobs more than they change their hairstyles. It only makes it that much more important to uncover the hidden tax treasure of "The Big Move".

New Job? Same Job? Your First Job? Doesn't matter. You have to pass two tests to deduct your moving expenses:

1. Is your "New Job" and "Old Home" commute 50 miles greater than your old commute? If yes? continue. If no? You did not pass go and you do not collect a tax deduction.

2. Did you work 39 weeks out of the first 12 months of your move? This stops those government-money-stealing people who are looking for a tax break, so they move to Hawaii and work at starbucks for a week just to quit and have some of the moving expenses deducted. (really? who does that?)

And what do you win? For playing "The Big Move" you win the following deductions:

1. 16.5 cents per mile driving to your new home. which doesn't work so well if you want to drive to Hawaii, don't try it. 16.5 cents is nothing really

2.The cost of packing and shipping your possessions. AWESOME for Hawaii. and for those pack rats out there

3. The cost of travel to your new home- lodging, not meals. 5 star hotels with mcdonalds fries please

4. The cost of disconnecting your utilities and setting up your new ones. Yes, you can still use your blowdryer in Hawaii. Sweet.

What is the best advice? Save your receipts. You never know when you will discover that you can deduct certain items in your move... or defend yourself to the IRS. But don't worry, you can deduct the cost of moving your receipts with you to your new home. (or be practical and scan them into your computer, but whatever works for you)

The Dollar Test

Smart shopping is good shopping. You deserve new shoes, new clothes, and new accessories... but how do you know if you will really get your money's worth?

I have this fabulous jacket from Banana Republic. I love the jacket. It is fashionable and dressy and I feel like a million bucks when I wear it. Does that mean its worth a million dollars, because that is how I FELT when I put it on in the store? No. Is it worth the $150 original price? Is it worth the $60 that I paid for it?

I am going to be honest now. I have worn that wonderful jacket maybe 4 times. It isn't something you can wear every week and isn't exactly practical to wear to work often at all. It is too dressy to wear to brunch with my friends... it screams "Fashionable WORK outfit".  Which leads me to the question: Is it worth it?

I have always followed the Dollar Test. It is a 100% original theory that I have lived by for several years. (Or at least believed was original until a conversation today with a coworker, Katie, who has a very similar theory. It goes like this: For every dollar spent on an item, you should wear it one time. So $50 jeans? better wear them 50 times to make it worth it. $20 shirt? get 20 wears out of it and you are golden.

Katie has been in the real world a few years longer than I have. She has the same theory but applies different numbers for different clothing types. For example, that formal dress? You probably wont wear it 100 times, so formal dresses should have a $50/time limit. Underwear? 50cent/time. The two of us sat there and named different types of clothing and put a "Dollar/time" limit on it. (Yes, we have the very exciting job of being accountants, so this is how we spiced up the afternoon). Everything for the most part had a $1-$5/wear limit.

The more practical way to organize your shopping? Have a budget. "I can spend 100 a month on shopping". This alone might keep you from blowing $60 on a jacket that you will only wear 4 times. For those of you who throw your budget out the window like last year's fashion? try to find a reasonable "Is it worth it" method. Maybe The Dollar Test will work for you?

Of Mice and Men

I'll let John Steinbeck tell the story Of Mice and Men. I'll tell the story of Mice and woMen.

I have a friend (Danielle) who lives downstairs in my apartment complex. We were going to get frozen yogurt (typical). I meet her downstairs and did my signature knock (typical). She answered the door (typical).

Danielle: Come inside, I have something I want to show you. (not typical.. and this is where the trouble begins)

Mallory: Do I want to see this?

D: Just come inside.

M: Is it a dead bug?

D: It's not a bug...

M: Is it dead?

D: Yes, well some of them, sorta. Just come look.

NO! Turns out Danielle has mice in her apartment. MICE meaning more than one (I am sure you already knew that, but I added it for emphasis) She had a dead one that she wanted me to see. I NEVER want to see a dead mouse, ESPECIALLY not in the same apartment complex that I live in. I told her that I will be the kind of friend who listens to her work woes or boy troubles, but never one that looks at dead mice.

That being said, what do you do when you have mice in your apartment?

1. Call the apartment complex. If you live in a house? set up your own sticky traps and snap traps.

2. Look for holes that lead outside (this is so obvious sounding... but they have to get in right?) Close your windows or put screens on them.

3. Make sure your garbage can has a tight lid. (this will also keep your apartment/house from smelling bad)

4. Don't leave dirty dishes in the dishwasher- this somehow attracts mice and rats. Don't ask me how they get into there, but I am not asking questions when it comes to rodents.

5. Let your cat/dog/pet snake attack the mice. (ew, but then you have a pet snake.. you might have bigger issues)

6. Try to keep food in the kitchen only. That way there is less of a chance of the mice going anywhere else. And on that note, I'm going to bed for the night. (I really hope I can sleep after this)

I honestly don't think I want to do any more thought or research on this subject. If you want more details? Look online. And if you find anything interesting? please be sure to tell my friend Danielle. I don't want any of her pets making a friendly visit upstairs.

Tax Tuesday: The art of procrastination

This topic is only fitting since I am writing Tax Tuesday on Wednesday. I am sure everyone was anxiously awaiting Tax Tuesday (since everyone loves reading about taxes) and were extremely disappointed when Tax Tuesday was not posted yesterday (that is, if anyone even noticed). The beautiful thing about having your own blog, and not getting paid for it, is that you can write Tax Tuesday any day of the week that you want.

However, doing your taxes is not QUITE the same. We have the wonderful deadline of  "April 15th". Now, there is this thing you can file called an "automatic extension of time to file." If you are a huge procrastinator (such as one of those people who would write Tax Tuesday on Saturday), you can opt to file your taxes by October 15th. Honestly, I think this is just silly (for most people). You would have to fill out a form to file and extension so you can fill out a form later.  PLUS it is only an extension to FILE, not to PAY your taxes. You still have to pay by April 15th. (For those ultimate procrastinators who thought you didn't have to pay until October 15th- you can send me half of the penalty fees I just saved you)

But why wait until April 14th to file? (for those people who would wait to write Tax Tuesday until 11:50pm on Tuesday) There are many benefits to filing your taxes early! Maybe even this weekend?
(1) Faster Returns- The IRS sends refunds back in the order that the returns are received. There are ALOT of procrastinators out there (guilty) and many of them will be waiting until the last second to file. That means you are waiting in a HUGE line to get your refund. This is like going shopping on Black Friday when there isn't even a financial reward. Why do it? Efile, Direct Deposit, and get your money back NOW! (then you can go shopping next weekend with your refund check!)
(2) Peace of Mind- Then when everyone else is freaking out last second about getting their return in, you will know that you already did it. You can treat yourself to a glass of wine and read all of the frantic facebook posts from your friends trying to do their taxes last second. Plus you have bragging rights in the office when people complain about still needing to file. (You can take yourself guilt free shopping with your refund check without "doing your taxes" hanging over your head!)
(3) Room for Error- Realize you forgot your W-2 from that random summer job you had for a month? Guess what, you still have time to get the form. Have a major tax issue? You still have time. Time is money.... possibly literally this time.
(4) Planning time- You get to the end of your taxes and you see that final number. Whether you owe $1500 or you will be refunded $1500, it helps to have planning time. If you owe the money, you can use your extra few weeks to save your money, beg your friends for money, or start selling boxes made out of Popsicle sticks door to door so you can pay up by the 15th. OR if you are one of the lucky ones, you can do some online shopping and plan how you want to spend your refund!

So what have we learned? Better late than never, Tax Tuesday should be done on Tuesday, and getting your taxes done early is definitely a good thing! Thus, ending your motivational speech of the week... go out there and do some taxes!