Email Etiquette

The guide to writing emails to your boss/important people:

(1) Try to put everything he or she needs to know in the subject line. Odds are they have no intention to open the email anyways. If you put key words of phrases in the subject, they get your thesis without having to click "open" on their cellphones. (Make sure it is not a "wordy" subject or it will cut off if opened on a cellphone)  Let's be honest. Odds are he or she wont even read the subject - they might just disregard it - the subject should then be searchable so that a few weeks or months from now when he (we are just going to use the pronoun "he" from now on to cut down on unnecessary typing) asks you if you sent that email, you can say "oh yes, check the email sent on 10/4 titled *insert your title here*".

(2) Use bullet points. Or numbers. You odds are greatly increased of getting a read if you have bullet points. No "unnecessary" words in this either.  Just a quick, super short, to the point summary. (don't take this post to be the perfect example of course). Don't get me wrong, when I have been told to "write a detailed email describing the situation", I have written a detailed email that would make your eyes roll to the back of your head half way through reading it, That can't be good for anyone's yearly optometrist visit,

(3) Bold. If you are lucky enough for him to open the email, you want the bolded words to smack him in the face. He should be able to understand the entire email by simply skimming the bold words. That way, if he "skims your email" you are helping him to skim the part you really want for him to read.

(4) Don't use long words. Write as though you are writing to a small child (with all due respect). He isn't going to use a dictionary to look up presumptuous words. (such as presumptuous). You don't come off as "more intelligent" if you used your thesaurus to write a quick work email.

(5) If there is additional information, put it in the attachment. Then you can say "attached, for additional information, is the *insert name of document*" Highlight the document (you can do that in pdf or excel or word) with the important key figures mentioned in your email. IF for some unknown reason he wants to actually read your email to put him to sleep at night AND opens the attachment, you are good to go.

(6) Make sure your document is client ready. Okay, we are not perfect. Today, I forgot to spell check an excel document and there was a small, hidden, completely irrelevant misspelled word. After a couple years of constant spell check and getting irritated with others for not using the little "check mark" function on all microsoft product, I forgot. AND got called out in an email about it - making my boss look bad. Easy to do - sucks when you don't.

(7) Make sure all attachments are print ready, and the little box in the excel document is at A1. Don't make it any more confusing than necessary or he might close it with all of the confusion of starting out on cell F45. You might have one of those old-school bosses that print everything - welcome to 2012 bossman,

(8) The email should be "client ready". If you can adequately write a professional and quick email, your boss can simply forward on the message to the appropriate party, (also eliminating the need for him to read it all together, ideal)

(9) Never BCC your boss. He wont feel special and your odds of him reading it are slim to none, Plus, who BCCs anyways? You shady bastard.(That being said, I do appreciate being BCCed on the "I'm quitting the firm" emails. That way I don't have to scroll through all the people you've ever passed in the hall after your 2-5 years with the firm.)

(10) Don't over use the "!" Urgent. You are going to be the "boy who called wolf". What is REALLY IMPORTANT to you, might be not such a big deal compared to the rest of his day.
Don't use Urgent unless one of the following has occurred:

• Someone is bleeding (actually, then you should call the doctor, or give them a bandaid depending on how serious the cut)
• There is an extreme emergency (but maybe you should be calling him at that point?)
• Something requires immediate action (but then you could just write "Immediate Action Required" In the subject line so he knows there is an action item associated with the whole mess)

Good Luck and Happy Writing.

Damn You, MTV

Dear MTV,

I have a grievance that I would like to discuss with you. No wonder my generation is so disappointed in their jobs and are feeling so entitled, it is all your fault (we also don't take responsibility well - but that is another topic). I spent my entire teen years intoxicated by the imagery that you portrayed as "The Real World".

Flash forward several years and I finally realize that you LIED to us! I graduated college to enter the real world and contrary to "The Real World", I do not live with 6 other people in a fabulously awesome house. I don't have an easy-breezy job where they don't really get upset if I show up late/hungover/or hardly work. I don't make out with my roommates or have a hottub fit for 7. I don't have free alcohol and free food. My entire apartment is approximately the size of one of the Real World kitchens. I have YET to get a letter in the mail telling me that I have an all-expense-paid trip to some exotic country (or Europe). I don't get to nap midday - and I actually have to go to the office every day of the week. While they go to fashionable nightclubs, I go to sleep.

You completely forgot to mention things like pantie-hose and auto insurance. Those people never have to get their oil changed or run to the post office - where is THAT episode?


There was absolutely no disclaimer on the television show. "Things start getting real?" There is very little ON that show that is real. Sigh. Maybe you should rethink the name to something less misleading like "The Non-Real World: Only the fantasy life for many teens". 


Next thing you know, they are going to tell us that getting married and having kids isn't like the Real Housewives of Orange Country. Sigh.


Peace, Love, and Lies,
Mallory

The Path to Growing Up

DISCLAIMER: This isn't a savvy life tip.

I wrote this for an Esquire Magazine competition. We had to use 76 words to write some sort of poem-creative-like-entry. I never actually submitted my "poem".  Savvy life tip (that is completely overused and totally cliche): Sometimes the joy is in the journey. Here is the poem. Wonder what you guys think. Hello real world.

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: I don't actually think I am grown up yet.

The Path to Growing Up

Realizing your parents’ don’t know everything. Finding your own path.

Trying to fit in. Finding the friends where you don’t need to try.

Dancing with others. Finding your own beat.

Seeking acceptance.  Seeking independence. Finding contentment.

The first kiss, first love, first heart break. Finding you have to love yourself first.

Making mistakes.  Disappointing others. Disappointing yourself. Finding how to pick  yourself back up.

Realizing your parents’ were right all along. Finding appreciation.

Searching for your passion. Finding your passion – and never giving up.

Resolutions (Part 2): Learn one from Santa

In honor of Christmas just ending, we should take one from Santa. Maybe he had the right idea all along.

"Making a list, and checking it twice".

If Santa didn't have a list, he would forget which children were the good ones and which presents everyone wanted. Same thing goes with resolutions.

Lets take an verbal contract. In Business Law in college, we learned that verbal contracts hold just as much weight as written contracts (As long as there is a meeting of the minds, mutual consideration, offer and acceptance, performance or deliver, good faith...) Why then do we have written contracts? Besides the proof, there is also something that makes a written contract and signing your name on a dotted more legit. This year? All my resolutions will be written down. (Yours should be too!)

Oh, the implications of writing down a list of resolutions. Suddenly, it seems more meaningful if the goals are written on a piece of paper or better yet, in a list that can be crossed off. Write down your goals. Post the list somewhere that you have to look everyday. How can you ignore that?

Resolutions (Part 1): Realistic Expectations & Breaking Up

Sure, everyone has something they would improve about themselves (and if they don't? Well, they should try to work on being more "humble" then!) Whether it is remember friend's birthdays, lose that last 5 pounds (or 20?), pray more, or keep the house clean... there is always something.

 "New Year's Resolutions" always seems like there is a joke associated with the phrase. You know what I mean, the goal that only lasts until the end of week two. Or until your best friend's birthday and the smell of the cake is consuming your senses. Is it our lack of commitment to our resolutions? or is it just the resolutions themselves. But not this year. This year is going to be different.

While I am not the expert in resolutions (seeing as I have never made it to December and still remembered my resolution from the previous year, or neglected making them all together - not sure which is worse), I am going to spend the next few days really figuring out what makes a resolution a reality. Feel free to ignore the next few blog posts. Or? Take my challenge and join me in my resolutions to reality journey.

Realistic Expectations
"Dream Big" - a concept we have heard since the time we were little. But does dreaming big truly always help us? If the expectations are too big and become too unobtainable, we lose all motivation to reach for them. (I think the perfect goals are just barely out of reach). If I have the goal to reorganize absolutely everything in my apartment on a sunday the job will be come so daunting that I may not even get started. Let's say that I want to reorganize the apartment and then keep it clutter free. Instead of taking that huge task all at once, set realistic expectations. "I am going to clean under the bathroom sink this week. Next week I'll take on the dresser drawers. Or even next month?" Instead of "never having clutter" try to make the goal of cleaning clutter on sundays and wednesdays.

Breaking Up the Goals
Instead of saying "I am going to work out every day - or even twice a day", I KNOW that will not be possible. As soon as I miss those first few days, I will quit altogether and not even try. Setting a goal of 3-4 times a week? okay, that's doable. AND easier to stick to. (plus, I'll end up avoiding the weeks where I don't go to the gym at all). If I set mini-goals, they are easier to obtain and will keep me more motivated.

This year, I will NOT be setting myself up for failure.

The New Approach: Enter into the world of realistic shopping

"Window Shopping". We are all guilty of doing it. Sure its fine to go shopping and not buy anything, but how often do we find something that we simply CAN'T live without and make it our personal mission to buy it? We justify it and reason why we deserve or need it (I mean, I could wear it out at night and during the day... it completely makes an outfit.... I will bring my lunch to work for a week) or just chalk it up to a "impulsive buy" and purchase our good. (in my case? it tends to be shoes.. but everyone has their vice)

The other problem with unrealistic shopping is increased expectations. It's the same thing we have been doing to ourselves since we were in middle school. We would hang posters on our walls from Teen People of amazingly built actors and drool over the abercombie bag models.We then go to school the next day and hit with the realization that boys in middle school are not much more than "scrawny" at that age.

If you spend all day staring at Michael Kors, your DSW and Payless shoes are going to much less of an appeal. Why look at $4000 apartments "just for fun" only to make your 600 sq foot mini-place feel even more subpar.

This is probably a harder task than it seems, but I have to admit, realistic shopping might just have its perks. Be happy with what you have and don't always want that beautiful pair of stilettos in the window....