Find Your Sports Mole

I'm not talking about a mole on your body that looks like a football. (Thats just weird). Everyone who is not a diehard sports fan should find their "mole" to give them the inside scoop what what is going on in the sports world. Sure, you can read some headlines (really good alternative if you are a loner) but sometimes getting a personal heads up allows you to have (1) knowledge on only things relevant to your needs - like a google alert (2) less falling asleep reading each sports article (3) the necessary bias.

Let me explain.

My friend Trey gives me the heads up on A&M sports news and knowledge. He alerts me if there is an article actually worth the read. (How can anyone keep UP with that stuff: Aggies, Cowboys, Rangers, Stars... and on and on - has anyone noticed that baseball games go on several time a week? That is a commitment!) Trey advises me not because I am a die hard sports fan (clearly), but precisely because I am not. I need JUST ENOUGH information to carry on a decent conversation at work/a wedding shower/my friend's boyfriend/ etc.

Last week, while working in New York, I was asked "So what do you think about A&M moving to the SEC?". (I secretly want to respond with: "What!? A&M moved to the SEC? Where have I been?" -- and then follow up with "I thought they were still in college station?") I was prepared, gave my cookie cutter answer that I have given 100 times. The thoughts have just enough of the correct bias (trey's bias) and I was able to maneuver through the conversation without standing there dumb founded.

You might think this is lazy. I think it is proper time management. Do the things you want to do and interest you, but without living fully under a rock.

Everyone should find their mole.

Remind me to buy Trey a shot.

Bridesmaids: The User Manual

I have not been able to blog recently. Because, well, it is wedding season. Which got me thinking…..

There are so many bride’s blogs and magazines out there, but there really are not nearly enough “bridesmaid” guides. And let’s be honest, when you are a bride you can do whatever you want because “It is YOUR wedding” but when you are a bridesmaid? Well, you do what you are supposed to do because it is NOT your wedding.  But what is it that you are supposed to do exactly? And really, you are going to be a bridesmaid way more times than you are going to be a bride in your 20s and 30s (or at least let’s hope so). 

I am not going to pretend that I know everything about being a bridesmaid, but I am going to put together a list of useful tips that I have learned in my 20s that just might help others out there.

1. Never, ever, ever wear white. Or off white. Or really light pink for that matter. Don’t you have a bold color in your wardrobe? This goes for showers, rehearsal dinners, engagement parties, etc. Actually, just forget that those light pastel colors don’t even exist. You never want to compete with the bride or have the other bridesmaid talking about you behind your back.

2. This is not your day. Do not cause drama. Do not make any part of this about you. Infact, I even prefer the maid of honor (etc) speeches where they don’t drone on about how they are besties with the bride. This isn’t about you either maid of honor.

3. Always thank the parents. They paid anyways.

4.  Wear something that is “adult friendly”. I am going to quote a grandmother at a recent shower I went to (not to me, thankfully). “Honey, is does that skirt have wheels, because it sure keeps riding up”.

5.   Do not ever out dress the bride. Keep your glitter and sequence at home.

6. If the bride says dance (even if it is in a choreographed dance) do it. And do it well. Even if you suck at dancing (likes yours truly)

7.  Stay calm. The bride will be stressed out enough. If you have a tendency to be a drama queen (most of us do) pretend that you don’t. Never scream or use loud voices on the wedding day until there is a fire or someone is bleeding (and I am not talking about a paper cut).

8. Buy them something off the registry. That is what they wanted anyways. OR (my personal favorite) buy them a gift card for the place the registered. That way they can get whatever is left on the registry that they REALLY wanted. And you know they like the store. Who wants that 5^th napkin ring when they could use your money towards the crock pot they wanted. Sure, it is not “personal”, but do you really want your friends to remember you every time they use that napkin ring? Or do you want them to think of you as that awesome/fun friend that you are.

9. If you run out of shower ideas (since you cant get them a gift card for that) personalize something. Everyone likes something with their name on it.

10. Always RSVP to stuff. People our parents age really appreciate when people RSVP. People our age always seem to forget. (especially if it is a phone number to call – who talks on the phone these days anyways?)

11. Dance at the party. The bride wants people to have a good time. And you will get other people on the floor if you dance. You don’t even have to be good – just white girl wedding dance.

12. Only bring a date if you are seriously dating someone or if you would not know many people otherwise. No guy wants to go on an early-on date to a wedding anyways. Why make your friends pay for an extra plate if they don’t need to? If you are in the wedding it means that the guy would spend all day by himself anyways.

13. There is always going to be “that bridesmaid”. Suck it up – they don’t have to be your friend at the end of the wedding. I am not referring to anyone specifically because there is literally one at every wedding. (If you don’t think there is one in the group of bridesmaids… well, it is probably you then, and you should tone it down… or take a zanex)

14. If the bride’s hair is messed up? Fix it. Don’t just say “oh you look great”. She is going to have to look at those pictures the rest of her life and if there is a hair in her face – it is your job as a true friend to fix it.

15. Bring tide-to-go. Worst case scenario, look for bleach in a bathroom cleaner at the church/reception/etc.

16. Buy those comfy pads for your shoes. Worth the investment. And don’t lock your knees. Eat something the day of the wedding. (you wont look that much “thinner” if you skip the meal anyways). Make sure your spanx are not too tight – you want to breathe to prevent passing out.

17. Don’t stuff your bra with tissues. Did you really think you would reach down your dress while standing on stage if you start to cry? If you feel like you are going to cry – open your eyes really wide. Or simply wipe with your hands. Or think of things that don’t make you cry.

18. Just because the alcohol is free doesn’t mean you should drink until you vomit. Never be that girl.

19. Remember all the stuff like “don’t cut the bows” and “save them for a rehearsal bouquet” and the “something borrowered something blue”. At the end of the day, the bride will be thankful since she has enough on her plate to remember.

Brides and Bridesmaids - I would LOVE to hear any additions you have to this list (especially since I stopped awkwardly at #19) - Or comments, because... not every thing on this list will apply to bride/situation.

The Lies of Sales

Sales lie to us. And thus - we lie to ourselves.

Let's take a normal girl conversation:
Girl #1: Cute Shoes, Girl #2!
Girl #2: Thank you, I got them at NordstromRack
Girl #1: I heard they are having a sale!?
Girl #2: Yes! It's great! I saved $50 on these shoes - they were only $250!
Girl #1: Wow, that is a great deal, you saved a ton!

Does no one know what "Save" means anymore!?

From a dictionary.com:
save ¹

v. saved, sav·ing, saves

v.tr.

1.

a. To rescue from harm, danger, or loss.

b. To set free from the consequences of sin; redeem.

2. To keep in a safe condition; safeguard.

3. To prevent the waste or loss of; conserve.

4. To avoid spending (money) so as to keep or accumulate it.

5. To set aside for future use; store

v.intr.

1. To avoid waste or expense; economize.

2. To accumulate money:

Where does this say "Spend $250 at Nordstrom Rack"? Granted, I am just as guilty of this. Any girl is proud of themselves when they save money. But let's not kid ourselves - we aren't saving for a rainy day when we spend "less than the tag price" on a pair of shoes. Odds are we took that money that we "saved" and spent it on a pair of flats anyways. Either that, or we wouldn't have spent the full amount. Therefore we just got NICER shoes for the same that we would have spent....

Maybe everytime we make a "save" by spending less at a store than expected, we should take that money and put it in the bank. Then at least we are lowering our shopping addiction and increasing our bank account - the way we SHOULD be saving. Anyone game to try?

Love Your "Now"

Okay, I'll admit it. I have had a self-diagnosed bad case of the post-vacay-blues this entire week. If you don't know what I am talking about, then you haven't been on a really good vacation (and by all means, stop reading this post and go book yourself an incredible trip). You know, that sitting at the desk at work dreaming of laying on that St. Croix beach.... bragging about your scuba diving abilities..... purposely picking outfits that will highlight that newly found tan (the one your coworkers have probably never seen, because, well.. you have a desk job) feeling. That was me this week. (if you add in "talking at nausea about the gorgeous island and the flavored rum to anyone who will listen")

I find myself at frozen yogurt (anyone who knows me is probably not surprised at this typical statement) with Ashlyn talking, once again, about our desire to do something adventurously fabulous. We want to be "those people" who pick up and follow our hearts. This isn't our first time to talk about it... seeing as we are both accountants.

And then it hits me.

I am not that person NOW. Sure, I always have the option to become a FatTireBike Tour Guide in Italy at any moment (not-so-secret dream), but that is not my life Now. And if I spend my days/nights thinking about what I might do in the future, I am going to wake up one day and  have completely missed the Now.

Let me elaborate. If I woke up tomorrow and went to Italy, I would miss out on those weekly girl dates with Ashlyn. (I would also blow my budget on a flight to Italy the day of, but lets not even go there). I would miss not going to my brother's graduation in a few weeks. I would miss the beautiful weddings that I am attending/participating in this fall for my closest friends. I wouldn't get to fly to Houston next weekend to have a girls weekend. If you spend all your time with your head somewhere else you will miss out on the great things in your life today.

One step farther? I think somewhere, deep, deep down I am glad I have a sell-out-to-the-man job (for 3-5 years max) so that I can prove to myself that I can do it. I'm not ready to win the lotto or take off to Italy tomorrow.... I want to live in my Now and know I can make it on my own. (However, if any of you just won the lotto and want to send me a couple million, then disregard the above post). A savvy twenty-something knows that great feeling of putting on her favorite stilettos and sassy work skirt and knowing that today you can tackle that corporate ladder (with the upmost style of course).

In Conclusion: If you aren't going to go to Italy tomorrow? Enjoy your Today. Because someday you might just end up in Italy missing what you have Now.

Two Girls, No Gas

It always happens on one of those nights. You know, the kind where you are ACTUALLY dead set on going to bed by 10? No. Matter. What. So I am laying on my couch at 10:15 (clearly not sleeping yet) and I get a phone call from an old friend, Erika, who is here on her internship.

She is stuck. Side of the interstate. No Gas.

I have never actually ran out of gas myself - but let's be honest, there have been a few close calls. So what do you do when you run out of gas?


(1) Call a friend - It doesn't help to call dad first if he is in another city. By then you could have some creeper pulled over on the side of the road just you and mr. creeper. This is one case where 2 is DEFINITELY better than 1.

(2) Evaluate the situation - Is there a gas station close by? Are you just going to call AAA? Does your insurance plan cover roadside assistance? (Ahhh this is what you should do to PREPARE for this situation. E) Are you in a safe place to fill up the gas yourself?  Erika and I decide that we are close to a gas station and capable of filling up her tank enough to get her to the gas station.

(3) Follow directions - Take a minute to figure out what you NEED to do. For example. to get the gas container to work there are several steps to setting up the funnel. It is probably just better to let the guy at the gas station screw the top on (you dont have to be THAT independent)

(4) Be wary of assistance - Help is good. and needed (especially after you fill up the tank and then find out that the battery is now dead since the lights were on while waiting for a friend to arrive). But make sure you judge their approach, have 911 handy. Look for their hand in their pocket. (not a good sign)

(5) Opposites don't always attract - this isn't about running out of gas, but handy advice. Turns out you cant jump an SUV with a small car. Keep that in mind. Find a car that matches in size.

(6) Follow through & Don't be a quitter- As a friend always always follow them to the gas station and make sure they make it home okay.

Additional Notes:
-Thank you dad for the heavy duty jumper cables. I came in clutch!
-Learn for Erika, don't run out of gas (my lesson is learned, dont find out the hard way!)
-Never say "I am going to bed by 10 no matter what". You end up posting in your blog at 12:30
-Why don't we all look like Megan Fox when we are fixing a car?
-Did you know that gas is clear!?
-How do you feel about giving money to the guys that help you? How much would you give? Is that appropriate?

Thus concluding another "Independent Girl" Story. Happy Driving to you all - go fill up your tank tomorrow.

Watch Yourself

Time. Such a sensitive subject when you really think about it. “Time is limited” and “Time is money” and “Time flies”. Such a source of stress, anxiety, frustration, and arguments. How many times do I look back at when I was growing up and remember my Dad screaming at us to leave? Oh wait, that was over the holiday break too – some things really don’t change. (In our defense, my Dad thinks that 10 minutes early is on time…. Which means if he says to be ready to leave for dinner at 6, he really means 5:50. And if you are a teenage girl, those precious 10 minutes make all the difference in appearance… which is more valuable than time… but back on track). I think of the frustration my Dad faced and the aggravation it caused my mother and me. What wasted energy.

Basically, people view time differently.

It is interesting that people from different cultures view time differently. My experience is that Europeans view time as a relative term. 6:00 could mean 5:45 or it could mean 6:45. Why rush? What is the big rush?

Why are Americans so stressed and pressed for time? Are the Eurpoeans or eastern cultures less stressed and more content? Could our time pressure be what makes our culture so productive? (And also die of heart attacks and high blood pressure?)

You might be asking: What should a Savvy 20-something care about the large differences in time perspectives? Good question. (Maybe because technically I asked it of myself). When it boils down the importance of time, it is important to remember that there are people like my Dad out there. Infact, the real world seems to be full of them. What message does it send to a friend if I am 10 minutes late to dinner? It says “I don’t value your time, I think it is okay to make you waste your precious time waiting on me”. Same thing when you are meeting your boss – and in that situation? That could cost you your job.

I had to meet a manager for a meeting at 8am. This meeting was 30ish minutes from my house (and in the heart of rush hour). I also hate morning (mornings being before noon). But what did I do? I got myself out of bed extra early, so despite traffic, and despite hating mornings, I could be at work at 7:45 to prepare for the meeting. What message does it send to a superior (or a coworker) when you roll in at  8:15 instead? I don’t get “points” for coming early, but I am sure she was more willing to help me than if I came in late.

On the flip side, if you are meeting someone – and being the prompt person that you now will be – beat them to work/dinner/etc, have some patience. Know that sometimes life happens, and that their schedule might just not have let them get there on time. Their clock culture could be different.

To end: Just remember, always “Watch” yourself and be on time. (hey, good excuse to go shopping for a cute new watch right?)

Do one thing just for you

Tell me if this sounds like you:
You wake up late for work. Hurry to work. Stay late because, well, we are young and have to put our time in. Come home. Pay the credit card. Run to the store for a birthday card/or more mascara/or "team snacks"/or milk or basically anything. Pretend that you are going to work out that night, but decide against it (typical). Call your mom. Turn on the TV. Pass out on the couch. Repeat.

Welcome to my life during a busy week. And aren't many weeks busy?

Once we grow up and get married and have kids I can only imagine (and as I have heard) that you have less "me" time. Less time to do what we really want to do. Or something that just makes us happy. I think it would be good to get in the habit now of finding something that I do JUST for me, and not for my parents or my friends or my coworkers.

I spend alot of time doing things for other people (that makes me happy) and I am sure most of us do. But shouldn't we make an effort to make time in our super busy lives for just ONE thing for "me"? The importance of having a "me" thing is not just for selfish reasons but mental sanity.

For me? It is writing this blog. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if no one really reads this post. It gives me a chance to get my thoughts out there and on paper and have a moment to do what I love to do (write). For you? It could be that step class that you love going to. Or getting your nails done. Or taking a bath. Figure out what it is and do it. (That's my challenge - accept it if you please).

For the Love of Airports

There are things in life that just suck. Like paying car insurance (even though they make that look fun on the commercials). In the adult world, I have come to terms with the fact that some things in life are just not as much fun as others. Like paying car insurance - unless you are one of the lucky people who live in a city with public transportation and do not realize what I am talking about. (In which case insert "paying taxes" - unless you are one of the people who get a tax refund... but you get the point).

There are two options in life when it comes to things you "have" to do. Complain about it, or make the most of it.

For me? Airports is the perfect example. Some people hate Airports (and waiting). I realize that it is an essential part of my life - for work, see friends, and my constant desire to travel. (turns out I don't even have enough vacation days from work to take a boat across the Pacific to Hong Kong - but that's another blog post). If you have to do it? Might as well find the positive.

My love for Airports: (This is purely an example, because, well... it was easier to come up with positive about flying than positives about

(1) I am either going somewhere or going home. Both are fun
(2) I have a chance to read all the back of the books that I wish I had time to read.
(3) I have fully convinced myself that calories do not count in the airport
(4) I can finally catch up on that magazine detailing the Kardashian wedding - even though they are already divorced
(5) If I listen carefully I will hear interesting conversations
(6) If I pay attention I will see some interesting people - seriously, prime place to people watch
(7) I can make that phone call to that person that I have been meaning to get in touch with
(8) It is almost nap time.
(9) Always, Always, Always, get frozen yogurt in the airport.
(10) Moving sidewalks are fun, there just aren't enough of them in the world.

Next time you find yourself doing something you "have to do" find a way to make it fun. Make a top ten list. You might as well enjoy the wait.

Ode to Online Shopping

Ah, let's get back to the basics. Shoes. (and shopping)

It's been awhile since one of these posts. Here is the thing, with the holiday season just now over, it is hard to rebuild our savings (if we had to dip into for holiday presents/parties/trips) and treat yourself. Oh, but in steps the solution.

My Ode to Online Shopping:

(1) Affordability- That's right, you can price shop all you want at the tip of your fingers! Have your heart set on some new boots? Check out the same style at 6 online stores in less than 5 minutes (thank you google shopping). See where you can get free shipping, and suddenly you have saved more money than if you spend $10 on gas and 3 hours of your life driving to different stores. It's a blessing to be part of this online-generation, take advantage of it!

(2) Convenience - Seriously? I can shop in my sweatpants from the comfort of my living room while watching TV? Almost too convenient if you ask me...

(3) Variety - So I can visit 12 stores in an hour? That's physically not possible. PLUS many places carry clothes that they don't carry in stores (this is even more relevant if you live in a small town without a mega mall or outlet stores)

(4) Sale Items - Many stores carry more sale items that they don't carry in the stores. For an added benefit, you get to find sale items without digging through the huge bins for 30 minutes before discovering they don't have your size anyways.

(5) Shipping - You have your package in a few days show up at your door step. A little present to yourself.

(6) Crowd-less - If you don't like people (or even just crowds?) no worries. No one can push you out of the way or cut in the check out line. Sounds good for stress levels if you ask me!

(7) Easy Gifts - Need to send a gift to a friend out of town? Easy! They do the shipping for you. That is one less hassle!

Thank you internet for providing me with the wonderful world of online shopping. And with that? I am signing off to visit a few good friends (Amazon.com & Overstock.com)

Happy (Online) Shopping!

Learn Something New

A savvy girl in the real world has to be "well rounded". Sigh, but what does this really mean? And why is it so important?

I'm not saying that you need to be an expert in everything, or really anything for that matter, but you have to be able to briefly talk politics with your parent's friends, business issues with the manager at work, sports with the guys at lunch, and marriage (or babies) with your friends that are married (or have babies). I am not saying you need to be the expert on politics - but with the elections around the corner, it wouldn't hurt to know a thing or two about some debates so that you aren't the only one standing there in silent at a dinner party.

But what if I don't like politics (or sports or business news or world news or basically anything besides online shoe shopping and watching bravo?) It seems to me that people tend to only read or watch shows that are like them. If I don't like shorts, you won't catch me reading the ESPN magazine (or whatever they read....). If I only care about pop culture (which I don't, I care about shoes too...) then you will see me reading an US weekly and watching E! News. But what do I learn from that? I am completely guilty of this - How many times have I found myself reading a book that I could have written myself?

Last week I decided to download these "Laughing Historically" pod casts. They are short 5-10 minute videos that teach you something about history (in a funny way). I am about as much of a history buff as I am one of those girls who screams at the TV during a baseball game. But I like hearing little snipbits of funny history (or watching a baseball game at a stadium with friends). Turns out that I had something to contribute to conversation everyday at work that week. My coworkers actually ASKED me what I had learned in my podcast that morning. I will never be a history buff, or an avid die-hard baseball fan, but I have to admit that learning something new and branching out sure felt good.

Try it. Learn something new. Worth a shot right?

Disclaimer: I understand how you might not think there is any relevance for the goat, but I know nothing about goats. And if you have any interest on learning things about goats? well, you never know when you'll want to bust out goat facts. Plus, I thought the picture might be interesting enough for people to want to read this post. We will see if it works..

Resolutions (Part 3): A picture is worth a thousand words

Sometimes I wonder where those "sayings" come from. Thankfully, I live in the age of Google - where knowledge is sitting at our finger tips (literally).

In this case "A picture is worth a thousand words" is attributed in modern times to Fred Bernard who (while trying to promote image ads instead of the words in 1921) stated that "A look is worth a thousand words". According to the Yale book of quotations "A look is worth a thousand words" is first seen in a New York Times Real Estate advertisement in 1914. Either way, A saying that is almost 100 years old must have some truth to it.

But I digress.

How does this relate to New Year's Resolutions? (Good question!) Instead of purely using the motivation technique of "writing down resolutions" (which, per "Part 2" is better than not writing them down at all) It is surely more beneficial to have a visual image of resolutions. Why is this? (1) How many times are we told to visualize our goals? It never fails that famous athletes talk about  visualizing their success - If you don't believe me, check out this article from College Sports Scholarships (2) It is a constant reminder of the goal.

I was talking to my good friend Kelli. This break we are going to make a "Dream Board" where you cut out pictures of your dreams and goals. This can work for resolutions to. Think about it. If I was going to reach into the freezer for some ice cream, and there is a picture of a Victoria Secret fashion model's abs staring back at me... would I really have that craving for chocolate still? (Okay, slightly bad example... chocolate almost always trumps all... but you get the picture - pun intended)

Find your motivation. Find a picture. Make it happen.

Fresh Impressions

First impressions are everything. (I am clearly not the person who came up with that concept or the science to back it up - I wish I was, because then? I would be so rich and famous that I wouldn't have to keep my day job)  But first impressions are not always easy.

Welcome to training at a big four accounting firm. (It is not just public accounting, let's face it, there is probably plenty of this in your training rooms too. And if there isn't? well, are they hiring?) Here is a room with 30 people who are all at the same level and competing for jobs, raises, and titles. (vicious sounding, I know) The new girl walks in. She just transferred, never worked on a job with anyone from the rest of the group, and no one knows her. She is like the new kid in school (that no one really likes). When she has to give her introduction everyone watches her and sizes up the competition. (Okay, this may be a little dramatic, but the point is there). She sits down at the table, reaches into her purse, and pulls out a little tin of mints. She takes one for herself and then asks "does anyone else want one?". In 5 seconds she turns from "potential threat" to best friend of everyone at the table.

Okay, alittle dramatic. But the point is there. Everyone loves gifts. Something free. The offering of the mint makes her instantly a "friend" and there is a small tiny bond and a smile exchanged. If you enter a room of people find a gesture, whether it is a mint or simply plugging in the team's laptops. It's the little things that count.

Just remember, for  $1.50 at your local drug store you can buy your way into making a great first impression.

Pay Yourself First

Pay yourself first. Trick yourself first.

I was talking to a guy friend who is worries that his future wife would drain all his money. (I am sure he put it in slightly nicer words than that, but I figured I should cut to the chase). Her idea of "investing" is investing in a new pair of shoes (can we blame her?) and her idea of "saving" is saving for that new Mercedes she has always had a crush on. Money in the bank is money in your pocket ready to spend at the nearest mall.

The best advice I could come up with? Pay yourself first. (I'll admit it, my mom once gave me that saying... but I am going to give the action plan). I told my friend that he should up his 401(k) and roth IRA contributions that are automatically deducted out of his pay check. I suggested that each month he moved the money that he wants to save into a mutual fund before his future money-loving-wife can even see the balance appear in the checking account. He thought this was brilliant.

The next day I realized that this simple concept is not just for stingy-husbands out to deprive their wives of shoes for the benefit of their future children... this applies to ME! How many times have I decided not to transfer money into savings/mutual fund/investments/etc since "this month is crazy". Guess what? "this" month is ALWAYS crazy. December holidays, January vacations, February weddings, March birthday adventures... and then summer - oh my! The next day I went to work and up my % of automatic deductions from my paycheck into my roth IRA and 401(k). What an easy way to keep myself from spending my savings. Turns out, you can't spend money that you can't touch! (what a concept!)

For extra credit, some companies even match part of your contributions. Definitely check into this with your current company/firm. This is FREE money that you could be wasting. (And if this is the case? Feel free to write me a check with your extra bonus)

The New Approach: Enter into the world of realistic shopping

"Window Shopping". We are all guilty of doing it. Sure its fine to go shopping and not buy anything, but how often do we find something that we simply CAN'T live without and make it our personal mission to buy it? We justify it and reason why we deserve or need it (I mean, I could wear it out at night and during the day... it completely makes an outfit.... I will bring my lunch to work for a week) or just chalk it up to a "impulsive buy" and purchase our good. (in my case? it tends to be shoes.. but everyone has their vice)

The other problem with unrealistic shopping is increased expectations. It's the same thing we have been doing to ourselves since we were in middle school. We would hang posters on our walls from Teen People of amazingly built actors and drool over the abercombie bag models.We then go to school the next day and hit with the realization that boys in middle school are not much more than "scrawny" at that age.

If you spend all day staring at Michael Kors, your DSW and Payless shoes are going to much less of an appeal. Why look at $4000 apartments "just for fun" only to make your 600 sq foot mini-place feel even more subpar.

This is probably a harder task than it seems, but I have to admit, realistic shopping might just have its perks. Be happy with what you have and don't always want that beautiful pair of stilettos in the window....

Help! I'm binge shopping!

Retail therapy. We have all heard it and most of us have participated it in. (If you haven't, please shoot me a comment as you are my new idol) It really works too. Sometimes it starts small (that extra lip gloss at the checkout counter) and then grows into more (running next store for some new shoes).

If we have a good day? We reward ourselves with some shoes- or whatever your vice is. If we have a bad day? we make ourselves feel better the same way. Neither of these will help us have a good day when our credit card bill comes in.... or out checking account drops to single didgets.

So the question comes. What do we do now?
(1) Acceptance. The first step in any problem is admitting it. Should be easy, most of us are pretty guilty.
(2) Find your trigger. Try to remember times you have been binge shopping and remember what events or emotions triggered the shopping spree. A break up? A hot new date? A bad day at work? and the next time those events or emotions come up try to catch yourself going to the mall.
(3) Catch yourself in the act. Shocked that you just spent $100 at Banana Republic when you didn't even need anything to begin with? Don't walk into the next store! Go home. Or better yet? catch yourself before you get the the cashregister. (sure you can always return things, but that's just easier said than done!)
(4) Find other ways to reward or cheer yourself up. Whether its working out, spending time with friends, or laying out by the pool (it is summer right?) If you feel you MUST spend money- splurge on some ice cream with a girlfriend. $3 is much easier to squeeze into your budget than $300.

Yes, I know.. it is easier said than done. Is there anyone else who wants to join my support group?

Appearance is Everything

Dress for the part you want. Yes, we have heard that saying over, and over. Many good sayings come from truth.

I am about to buy a new suitcase (I know, its a weekday.. but I took the day off and I desperately need a new suitcase. Cool way to spend vacation huh?) I really need a midsized suitcase and a smaller "carryon". Seeing as I didn't budget for both this month, I can only buy one. Although midsized suitcase is probably more practical for my family wedding in Detriot this weekend, I know my job will potentially have me travelling quite a bit in the future. Lets be honest, no self-respecting business person is allowed to travel for a week a check their bags (trust me, I've been though the teasing). Instead of purchasing the suitcase better suited for a family trip, I intend to buy the carry-on. Gotta practice sometime right? Even if my colleagues weren't to tease me, if you act the part of a good traveler (or whatever part you are looking for) you soon assume the role.

Same applies at everyone's job. If you want more responsibility, volunteer for it once and you will soon be the go-to-gal for the job in the future. (On the flip side, if you DON'T want a responsibility, be careful not to volunteer too quickly... or you might be ordering dinner for the team EVERY night)

I think this saying applies beyond the work place and into your personal life. A good friend of mine (who will remain nameless at this point) was told "If you act immature, you can't be surprised by the type of girls you attract". Not that you should change for a person that you haven't even met yet- but if you want a certain role in the future, you better play the part now.

And with that I'll close with another cliche. "Fake it til you make it". Happy Dressing.

Time is Precious

One thing I have learned working in the real world? Time is precious. Where does the time go? And how do I get more "fun" time?

Yes, there are 168 hours in a week and that sure sounds like alot. Well, until you break it down. You spend roughly  1/3 of those hours working and another 1/3 of those hours sleeping (unless you are one of those lucky human beings who only need 5 hours to operate - there is barely enough coffee in the office to allow me weeks on end of only 5 hours a night...) That leaves you a 1/3rd of your time to do laundry, run errands, go to the grocery store, shower (its important) and get ready, commute to work... and you get the picture.

So what is the solution? We can't quit our jobs (well, I guess we can, but I am not recommending that one), We can't cut down on sleep (again, not my recommendation), We can't exactly stop time (but if you know how to, PLEASE let me know your tricks). All we can do is learn how to use our time more efficiently so that we have more "fun" and less "chore" time.

(1) Make lists. Same as the sticky note concept. If you write down what you need to do, you wont have to constantly be thinking about it to remember it. It frees up your mind to work effectively while at work or out with friends. If you write down what you need to do, you won't forget the important items. Along the same lines, if you make lists for the week you can avoid doing the same task twice. If you figure out meals for the entire week on Sunday, you can only have to go to the grocery store once a week rather than every other night.

(2) Prioritize. Not everything can be done today (and not everything will be done today). Figure out what is a HAVE to do and what is a want to do. You might have to iron your pants for work tomorrow, but you can hold off on washing your sheets two more nights.

(3) Do it now. I can't think of how many "productive sundays" I have laid in bed for an hour longer just thinking about what I needed to do that day.... and then crawled on my couch to watch a quit movie.. you know, to "wake up". By then a friend might call, and of course I would love to go shopping/lunch/movie/just about anything but be productive. Suddenly it is 10pm and I haven't even started my to-do list. Oh procrastination... you were my friend in college, but in the real world? I just don't have time for you anymore.

(4) Time Chunk. Let's say my room is a mess. I am one of those people who will start to straighten it, then take a shower, then straighten some more, then make a phone call, then maybe pick up one more thing, then run to the store. I am most productive when I put a few songs on grooveshark and say "I am going to clean until these three songs are done." The task is literally almost always done.... and in 1/4 of the time. Focus on what you are doing, and the job gets done.

(5) Combine certain tasks. This sounds like it contradicts (4), but stick with me. Some "chores" can be done while doing something you have to do anyways (stick with me while I try to explain). Let's say I am walking to lunch to meet a friend. While I walk, I might as well call the front office to fix a leaky facet. Or (by making lists) I can prepare ahead of time so that I am taking my checks to the ATM inside the grocery store rather than making a separate trip to the bank later. Simple, yet effective. (Also sometimes easier said than done for my frazzled self)

(6) Find your optimal productivity-time. My friend Kelly will get up at 5am (yes, that sounds painful to me too) to do chores and work out before work. She has 3 additional hours every morning that I snooze through. She claims that after work she is absolutely unproductive. As for me? I would rather run my errands on the way home from work than pull myself out of my bed a moment before I absolutely must. Figure out what works for you and live by it.

(7) Step away from the computer. (after you read my posts of course!) I can be completely ready to go to bed and then spend 2 hours surfing blogs, chatting with friends, responding to emails, reading celebrity news (guilty pleasure, don't judge), etc. 2 hours! I would rather spend that time working out, meeting up with friends, getting a good night sleep. And those 2 hours sure do add up overtime. If might be the TV for you, or rockband, or another time eating vice.

These tricks might not work for everyone. And if you are one of those people who already have a great system? please share with me! It is a never ending struggle for me... find more time so I can "play" more and "work" less.

Pick Your Poison

... Your financial poison that is. Everyone has one.

Here's the story. I was driving with Danielle, a friend from work (the same exact salary), and she was talking about her tanning membership. She mentioned the monthly cost and I swear my heart skipped two beats. I remained calm on the exterior while my internal alarms went off thinking "You pay WHAT to fake tan!? You've GOT to be kidding me! ... you do realize the sun is free right? and skin cancer? and..." (Disclaimer: I am not judging those who fake tan, and I am fully aware that your arms really do look more toned with a nice tan). Here's the thing though, her tanning membership is approximately the same monthly cost of my overly priced (and yet so charming) yoga studio. In the end? we end up the same. Its just how you pick your poison.

So here's the concept. No matter what your financial state is, you are going to have to make choices. For Danielle and I? Do you spend the money on a tanning membership or a yoga membership? My mom on the otherhand chooses to get her nails done weekly and a pedicure every month. Is there anything wrong with spending money on yourself? absolutely not! Everyone has their poison- the trick is to not pick TO MANY poisons.


How do we do this?
(1) Look at your big purchases. Your house, your car, your vacations. You have to decide how to allocate your income and still have some disposable income for those irresistible shoes.. oh yea, and groceries. Maybe you are a car person and could care less for a large house. Maybe you will sacrifice both for world vacations? Just realize there are sacrifices.
(2) After you look at your big purchases, make decisions with your income left over (your disposable income). Do you need to buy a bridesmaid dress this month? This might not be the month to order a round of drinks for everyone at the bar then. (When you do decide to order a round of drinks for everyone at the bar- don't forget to invite me) Pick what you spend your money on. Do you like nice highlights? or namebrand clothes?

Yes, this concept is simple. But it really, truly applies to everyone. (Even multimillionaires have to decide if they want their next mega-mansion vacation home in England or Paris) Be careful that your eyes are not bigger than your wallet.

So.... What is your poison? What do you give up? How do you decide? ....Until next time, Happy picking!

Don't hate your commute, Embrace it!

I am pretty sure no one would argue that Oprah isn't a pretty smart lady (let's face it, she has the most successful talk show, her own magazine, extreme wealth, a good reputation, and definitely a household name). I would have said that she tends to speak more to our mother's generation. (Isn't it funny how suddenly you reach your twenties and your parent's generation isn't so dumb anymore?) BUT A great point that Oprah made on her show is that more people hate their commute than hate their jobs when it really comes down to it. Interesting, since most people I know aren't exactly ecstatic about working.

Does this apply to our generation? Absolutely. This applies to my friend who has to drive an hour north to go to grad classes 2 days a week. Or my coworkers who got assigned to a client 45 minutes away. This applies to all the people I know (and see) stuck on the interstate trying to make it to work by 8.

So what? Is the solution to move? Well, maybe, if you live in an apartment and feel like you would be happier closer to the office. But that can be a bit drastic (especially if you are only on a client for a few months, or commute a couple days a week). Maybe instead we should just learn to embrace the commute.

I was talking to my friend Emily who was less than thrilled about her drive when this idea came to me. We started brainstorming ideas to make her commute something to look forward to. Here are my ideas:

1. Connect with old friends. No, I am not saying that you should text and drive. But so many cars have hands free devices built in anyways that its a shame to waste good technology. Haven't you ever had a meal with a friend where 3 hours feels like only 10 minutes. Apply this concept to driving. Bam! You are at your destination!
2. Plan your day. This is such a good time to think about your to-do list. Figure out when you will be getting things done, and get prepared and mentally ready for the day.
3. Jam out to your favorite playlist. When else do you get to listen to your favorite songs? Sure maybe if you go for a run, but this gives you the same opportunity without the pain and suffering.
4. Learn something new. There are so many books on tape, why not learn something you've always wanted to learn? Maybe a new language? or just some new skill? Improve yourself and take the time for yourself to actually grow.
5. Relax. Really. Road rage is a state of mind. Instead of being frustrated in traffic, think of it as some extra time that you get to spend by yourself. You have no other obligations at the moment and can purely relax and spend some quality "ME" time!

Did this work for Emily? Yes. Does it work all the time? Eh, I'm sure it doesn't. But its worth a shot right?

Let me know if the theory works for you. What do you do to embrace your commute?

Love where you live

When I travel to another city (in the US, or outside the states) I imagine what my life would be like in that city. I think of how amazing it would be to wander the Louvre on a Saturday, or take run by the ocean before work.

I had drinks with a guy who truly loved where he lived (the city that is) I mean truly, deeply, loved everything about the city and its culture. Of course this made me want to sell Dallas, so I thought of every positive I could possibly think of to share about the Big D. Turns out excitement can be contagious and I realized I liked the city I lived in. (But again, not as much as this guy liked his hometown)

It is important that you love the city you live in. You do, after all, spend way more time in that city than you do on vacation. Have you ever stopped to think that some people actually go on vacation to see your home town? What draws them there? I have no research to back this up, but I think you are happier overall if you love where you live.

How do you do love where you live?
1. Play tourist for a day- go to all the sites that you think an outsider would go to if they were visiting. (Frommer's is actually free online - try to knock off every "To Do" on the list)
2. Always root for the home team - (unless they are playing the spurs) I can't help but think there isn't some sort of bonding a city goes through when the home team wins. They honk at eachother, drink with eachother, and are generally united in city pride.
3. Appreciate the view. Whether its a skyline, a beach, a forest, a quaint neighborhood... every city has something. (guilty. I live by the skyline and forget to really appreciate it unless I am showing it off)
4. Enjoy a dinner out. We forget that we might live in a city fabulous restaurants (because we are cheap) and then go on vacation, splurge, and think other places have WAY better food. Guess what? A night out where you live to experience a good meal is cheaper than a whole vacation. On vacation we try to "eat like the locals"... in your own town, don't you think you should BE that local?

I challenge you to try one (or all) of my random ideas to work on loving where you live. You just never know when you may have to move. Any other ideas? Open to suggestions, ideas, or any research to back up my hypothesis!