The Path to Growing Up

DISCLAIMER: This isn't a savvy life tip.

I wrote this for an Esquire Magazine competition. We had to use 76 words to write some sort of poem-creative-like-entry. I never actually submitted my "poem".  Savvy life tip (that is completely overused and totally cliche): Sometimes the joy is in the journey. Here is the poem. Wonder what you guys think. Hello real world.

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: I don't actually think I am grown up yet.

The Path to Growing Up

Realizing your parents’ don’t know everything. Finding your own path.

Trying to fit in. Finding the friends where you don’t need to try.

Dancing with others. Finding your own beat.

Seeking acceptance.  Seeking independence. Finding contentment.

The first kiss, first love, first heart break. Finding you have to love yourself first.

Making mistakes.  Disappointing others. Disappointing yourself. Finding how to pick  yourself back up.

Realizing your parents’ were right all along. Finding appreciation.

Searching for your passion. Finding your passion – and never giving up.

Stop looking at the neighbor's yard and water your own damn grass

I know, not a typical title for me. Not girly (but still sassy), here is the point: Sure, the grass might be greener on the otherside... but wouldn't we be happy with our own yard if we stopped comparing? Maybe if we spent more time watering our yard and less time peering over the fence (I picture Wilson from Home Improvement), then the grass would be greener on our side. And if we stopped comparing, we might be happy with our green just the way it is.

I wonder if any of you follow.

A study at Warton Business school stated that people would rather make $50,000 when their friends are making $25,000 than make $100,000 when their friends are making $250,000. Are we really that concerned about comparing ourselves to others? (Yes) And is it really necessary to wish for success compared to the people (our friends) who are supposed to accept us for who we are? Perhaps, if we changed our mindset we would be happier by comparing less. I'm not saying this is easy, but shouldn't we at least try? I think being aware of it is the first step.

My friend Ashlyn has the cutest wardrobe. I am talking designer, matching, put together, fashionable items. There are days that her hair is perfectly curled while mine is airdrying with the windows down on the way to work (don't pretend you haven't tried that move - and if you haven't? You so should!). Her shoes match her her clothes perfectly, while I am sometimes hoping that I am not wearing one black and one navy. (Okay, I'm not that bad, but just go with me). I will never be completely satisfied with my wardrobe if I compare myself to Ashlyn. Yes, I could try waking up 15 minutes earlier.. but lets be honest. But really, she doesn't care what I am wearing, and neither does my predominately male team. If I don't compare, my happiness goes up. (Or better yet, take myself on a shopping spree!)

Same thing goes for non-material situations. There was a day in HighSchool that I told my mom I was worried I wouldn't get into college. This wasn't because I was "dumb". I was in all honors classes. My problem was that I was comparing myself to students who were also overachievers and found myself mediocre in comparison. Compare less, study harder, and I would be just fine.

How many other times do I compare my work to the work of coworkers? Or compare my apartment to the apartment of my friend's? How can I turn all of this external focus inward and actually improve the one that matters?
1. Awareness. Okay, I am done taking notes from Wilson. Do we even know what that guy looks like anyways?
2. Water your own grass. Focus on my "yard" or wardrobe or work and stop caring about others. When noticing that focus changes, change it back
3. Focus on your strengths. My body type couldn't pull off half the stuff Ashlyn wears anyways!
4. Don't knock other's down. Why wish your friends made less than you? Shouldn't you be secure enough to want others to succeed as well?
5. I really want a 5th - any suggestions?

Do one thing just for you

Tell me if this sounds like you:
You wake up late for work. Hurry to work. Stay late because, well, we are young and have to put our time in. Come home. Pay the credit card. Run to the store for a birthday card/or more mascara/or "team snacks"/or milk or basically anything. Pretend that you are going to work out that night, but decide against it (typical). Call your mom. Turn on the TV. Pass out on the couch. Repeat.

Welcome to my life during a busy week. And aren't many weeks busy?

Once we grow up and get married and have kids I can only imagine (and as I have heard) that you have less "me" time. Less time to do what we really want to do. Or something that just makes us happy. I think it would be good to get in the habit now of finding something that I do JUST for me, and not for my parents or my friends or my coworkers.

I spend alot of time doing things for other people (that makes me happy) and I am sure most of us do. But shouldn't we make an effort to make time in our super busy lives for just ONE thing for "me"? The importance of having a "me" thing is not just for selfish reasons but mental sanity.

For me? It is writing this blog. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if no one really reads this post. It gives me a chance to get my thoughts out there and on paper and have a moment to do what I love to do (write). For you? It could be that step class that you love going to. Or getting your nails done. Or taking a bath. Figure out what it is and do it. (That's my challenge - accept it if you please).

For the Love of Airports

There are things in life that just suck. Like paying car insurance (even though they make that look fun on the commercials). In the adult world, I have come to terms with the fact that some things in life are just not as much fun as others. Like paying car insurance - unless you are one of the lucky people who live in a city with public transportation and do not realize what I am talking about. (In which case insert "paying taxes" - unless you are one of the people who get a tax refund... but you get the point).

There are two options in life when it comes to things you "have" to do. Complain about it, or make the most of it.

For me? Airports is the perfect example. Some people hate Airports (and waiting). I realize that it is an essential part of my life - for work, see friends, and my constant desire to travel. (turns out I don't even have enough vacation days from work to take a boat across the Pacific to Hong Kong - but that's another blog post). If you have to do it? Might as well find the positive.

My love for Airports: (This is purely an example, because, well... it was easier to come up with positive about flying than positives about

(1) I am either going somewhere or going home. Both are fun
(2) I have a chance to read all the back of the books that I wish I had time to read.
(3) I have fully convinced myself that calories do not count in the airport
(4) I can finally catch up on that magazine detailing the Kardashian wedding - even though they are already divorced
(5) If I listen carefully I will hear interesting conversations
(6) If I pay attention I will see some interesting people - seriously, prime place to people watch
(7) I can make that phone call to that person that I have been meaning to get in touch with
(8) It is almost nap time.
(9) Always, Always, Always, get frozen yogurt in the airport.
(10) Moving sidewalks are fun, there just aren't enough of them in the world.

Next time you find yourself doing something you "have to do" find a way to make it fun. Make a top ten list. You might as well enjoy the wait.

Ode to Online Shopping

Ah, let's get back to the basics. Shoes. (and shopping)

It's been awhile since one of these posts. Here is the thing, with the holiday season just now over, it is hard to rebuild our savings (if we had to dip into for holiday presents/parties/trips) and treat yourself. Oh, but in steps the solution.

My Ode to Online Shopping:

(1) Affordability- That's right, you can price shop all you want at the tip of your fingers! Have your heart set on some new boots? Check out the same style at 6 online stores in less than 5 minutes (thank you google shopping). See where you can get free shipping, and suddenly you have saved more money than if you spend $10 on gas and 3 hours of your life driving to different stores. It's a blessing to be part of this online-generation, take advantage of it!

(2) Convenience - Seriously? I can shop in my sweatpants from the comfort of my living room while watching TV? Almost too convenient if you ask me...

(3) Variety - So I can visit 12 stores in an hour? That's physically not possible. PLUS many places carry clothes that they don't carry in stores (this is even more relevant if you live in a small town without a mega mall or outlet stores)

(4) Sale Items - Many stores carry more sale items that they don't carry in the stores. For an added benefit, you get to find sale items without digging through the huge bins for 30 minutes before discovering they don't have your size anyways.

(5) Shipping - You have your package in a few days show up at your door step. A little present to yourself.

(6) Crowd-less - If you don't like people (or even just crowds?) no worries. No one can push you out of the way or cut in the check out line. Sounds good for stress levels if you ask me!

(7) Easy Gifts - Need to send a gift to a friend out of town? Easy! They do the shipping for you. That is one less hassle!

Thank you internet for providing me with the wonderful world of online shopping. And with that? I am signing off to visit a few good friends (Amazon.com & Overstock.com)

Happy (Online) Shopping!

Learn Something New

A savvy girl in the real world has to be "well rounded". Sigh, but what does this really mean? And why is it so important?

I'm not saying that you need to be an expert in everything, or really anything for that matter, but you have to be able to briefly talk politics with your parent's friends, business issues with the manager at work, sports with the guys at lunch, and marriage (or babies) with your friends that are married (or have babies). I am not saying you need to be the expert on politics - but with the elections around the corner, it wouldn't hurt to know a thing or two about some debates so that you aren't the only one standing there in silent at a dinner party.

But what if I don't like politics (or sports or business news or world news or basically anything besides online shoe shopping and watching bravo?) It seems to me that people tend to only read or watch shows that are like them. If I don't like shorts, you won't catch me reading the ESPN magazine (or whatever they read....). If I only care about pop culture (which I don't, I care about shoes too...) then you will see me reading an US weekly and watching E! News. But what do I learn from that? I am completely guilty of this - How many times have I found myself reading a book that I could have written myself?

Last week I decided to download these "Laughing Historically" pod casts. They are short 5-10 minute videos that teach you something about history (in a funny way). I am about as much of a history buff as I am one of those girls who screams at the TV during a baseball game. But I like hearing little snipbits of funny history (or watching a baseball game at a stadium with friends). Turns out that I had something to contribute to conversation everyday at work that week. My coworkers actually ASKED me what I had learned in my podcast that morning. I will never be a history buff, or an avid die-hard baseball fan, but I have to admit that learning something new and branching out sure felt good.

Try it. Learn something new. Worth a shot right?

Disclaimer: I understand how you might not think there is any relevance for the goat, but I know nothing about goats. And if you have any interest on learning things about goats? well, you never know when you'll want to bust out goat facts. Plus, I thought the picture might be interesting enough for people to want to read this post. We will see if it works..