Of Mice and Men

I'll let John Steinbeck tell the story Of Mice and Men. I'll tell the story of Mice and woMen.

I have a friend (Danielle) who lives downstairs in my apartment complex. We were going to get frozen yogurt (typical). I meet her downstairs and did my signature knock (typical). She answered the door (typical).

Danielle: Come inside, I have something I want to show you. (not typical.. and this is where the trouble begins)

Mallory: Do I want to see this?

D: Just come inside.

M: Is it a dead bug?

D: It's not a bug...

M: Is it dead?

D: Yes, well some of them, sorta. Just come look.

NO! Turns out Danielle has mice in her apartment. MICE meaning more than one (I am sure you already knew that, but I added it for emphasis) She had a dead one that she wanted me to see. I NEVER want to see a dead mouse, ESPECIALLY not in the same apartment complex that I live in. I told her that I will be the kind of friend who listens to her work woes or boy troubles, but never one that looks at dead mice.

That being said, what do you do when you have mice in your apartment?

1. Call the apartment complex. If you live in a house? set up your own sticky traps and snap traps.

2. Look for holes that lead outside (this is so obvious sounding... but they have to get in right?) Close your windows or put screens on them.

3. Make sure your garbage can has a tight lid. (this will also keep your apartment/house from smelling bad)

4. Don't leave dirty dishes in the dishwasher- this somehow attracts mice and rats. Don't ask me how they get into there, but I am not asking questions when it comes to rodents.

5. Let your cat/dog/pet snake attack the mice. (ew, but then you have a pet snake.. you might have bigger issues)

6. Try to keep food in the kitchen only. That way there is less of a chance of the mice going anywhere else. And on that note, I'm going to bed for the night. (I really hope I can sleep after this)

I honestly don't think I want to do any more thought or research on this subject. If you want more details? Look online. And if you find anything interesting? please be sure to tell my friend Danielle. I don't want any of her pets making a friendly visit upstairs.

Silence is Golden

For the first time in my life I am finally able to relate to that grumpy old cat lady. (except I don't have any cats and I am really not that old) Maybe it is part of growing up and having a job?

My neighbor likes to play loud angry music (if you can call it music). It has more base than I thought possible since it literally shakes my walls. She plays it ALL. THE. TIME. I am guessing that the reason she plays it so loud is probably because she lost more of her hearing last Tuesday when she also choose to play it at 11:30pm. Being the adult that I am, I used to bang against the wall to let her know that I can hear her music. There have even been two times when I called the apartment complex to have them send up the apartment's "cop" to tell her to quiet down. A few weeks ago I decided to woman up and go over there to talk to her. The second I banged on the wall the music instantly went off. Mission completed. Having solved the problem, I went back to my room. Since then I have knocked on her door twice to get the music to shut off.

Yesterday was one of those days. I was in my PJs and glasses and so had no intention of talking to her. I banged on the door and retreated back to my room. She comes out into the hall and screams "WHO THE F BANGED ON MY DOOR!? WHAT THE F! DONT F*ING BANG ON MY DOOR!" (of course she did not just say "f") I did NOT confront her. She seemed very mad, dangerous, and she listens to angry music, so who knows what she is capable of! (I instead tippytoed to my door and double-locked it. coward, I know)

Actual thoughts that crossed my mind on how to solve the problem:
1. Talk to my apartment complex and make sure shes not living next to me before I resign.
2. Hang a printed sign on her door that says "Silence is Golden"
3. Find a police outfit and just go over there myself and talk to her everytime the music comes on (yes, this would be hard to pull off- what kind of black clunky shoes do they even wear?)
4. Vaseline her door knob- maybe she will be so annoyed she will move (I wont actually do this one either, but it sounds so good in theory)
5. A coworker suggested writing a fake letter from the apartment complex that asks her to keep the noise down. I think there is probably a law against that, but he seemed to think that it might actually shut her up.

Any ideas? Surely she must not have a job? Is there something else I can do that is alittle more practical than options 2-5? Someone must have dealt with this before... I am looking for creative ideas!