Damn You, MTV

Dear MTV,

I have a grievance that I would like to discuss with you. No wonder my generation is so disappointed in their jobs and are feeling so entitled, it is all your fault (we also don't take responsibility well - but that is another topic). I spent my entire teen years intoxicated by the imagery that you portrayed as "The Real World".

Flash forward several years and I finally realize that you LIED to us! I graduated college to enter the real world and contrary to "The Real World", I do not live with 6 other people in a fabulously awesome house. I don't have an easy-breezy job where they don't really get upset if I show up late/hungover/or hardly work. I don't make out with my roommates or have a hottub fit for 7. I don't have free alcohol and free food. My entire apartment is approximately the size of one of the Real World kitchens. I have YET to get a letter in the mail telling me that I have an all-expense-paid trip to some exotic country (or Europe). I don't get to nap midday - and I actually have to go to the office every day of the week. While they go to fashionable nightclubs, I go to sleep.

You completely forgot to mention things like pantie-hose and auto insurance. Those people never have to get their oil changed or run to the post office - where is THAT episode?


There was absolutely no disclaimer on the television show. "Things start getting real?" There is very little ON that show that is real. Sigh. Maybe you should rethink the name to something less misleading like "The Non-Real World: Only the fantasy life for many teens". 


Next thing you know, they are going to tell us that getting married and having kids isn't like the Real Housewives of Orange Country. Sigh.


Peace, Love, and Lies,
Mallory

The 30 minute rule

I am pretty sure I can do just about anything for 30 minutes.

But let’s be honest. If it doesn’t involve shoe shopping or lunch with friends and isn’t something that I WANT to be doing, I am going to put it off. Instead of working, I can drift into the world of online shopping. Instead of folding laundry, I can drift into the latest episode of Real Housewives (or maybe even a repeat.) I would find it hard to imagine that this is just me.

But I can do anything for 30 minutes. So go with that theory. It is a Sunday afternoon. I want to meet up with friends/shop/nap/fill in with lazy Sunday activities. I also have that laundry on my bed that I need to fold. 30 minutes. “I am going to just spend 30 minutes FOCUSING on this one task”. I saw whatever isn’t done in 30 minutes can wait. 80% of the time (rough estimate) the laundry is done). If I get into the trend of working out for an hour or more I can find it hard to drag myself to the gym (What a commitment!) But thinking about getting on a machine for 30 minutes? Easy. I can find 30 minutes in my day.

Same thing goes with work. The internet simultaneously increased and decreased productivity in the work place. (I am not sure how it netted out – but probably negative overall) It increased by opening communication throughout cities and states and the world. Transfer information. And obtain information. Easy to search. Easy to access information. Oh, but the time wasted by employees talking to one another. Or online shopping for shoes (wow, maybe I need to seek help?) Here is my challenge. Turn off the internet. Or gmail. Or chat session. And focus of work for 30 minutes straight. There is something to be said about not multi-tasking 100% of your day. This might sound old-school, but it is amazing what you can accomplish with 100% of your attention. Those 30 minutes can equal hours of multi-tasked work.

A modern girl simply needs more time. But maybe we just simply need to use our time more efficiently. 

Porches get hit too

I think most 20-somethings know the feeling. The "I would look really great driving that car" feeling. The "I work hard and deserve a nice car" feeling. Why is there such an association with nice cars = success? (besides to obvious fact that you can't buy a nice car until you have plenty of money to throw into it?)

I would look great driving a Porsche Cayenne. That cute little cross-over. Probably a white exterior. Or perhaps a pearl? (Not that either colors are practical since I would have to also budget in a weekly car wash). I would ride in style and arrive in style. I mean, first impressions are everything right? It is amazing how we can justify material possessions. I'll give you a few of my own justifications:

• I work hard everyday, I can afford to treat myself to a luxury item
• I drive to work everyday. If I have to drive that much, I should enjoy the ride
• I mean, someday I'll have kids and have to have a "Mommy" car. I deserve this.
• A car doesn't go out of style as fast as a pair of shoes would
• But, (Insert Name Here) drives a Porche/Lexus/Beemer/Audi. I should too!
• It's an investment. (It's really not....)
• I can finance it....
• I live in Dallas - isn't a luxury car more of a need than a want here?
• If I had a nice car, I would take better care of it.

Pretty good, huh? (Tempted to stop writing this post and go get myself one instead). But I don't drive a Porsche Cayenne. I drive a 2004 Toyota Corolla. It a couple strips of ducktape on the front bumper from an "instance" a year ago. It has a post-factory radio system that the previous owner installed which is nearly impossible to use. It has shiny "rims" which lends itself to the name my coworkers have lovingly given the car, "Ghetto Whip". (Or just GW for short). So what keeps me in my little Toyota Corolla?

Porches get hit too. I just picked up GW from the shop today. This time it wasn't my fault (impressive, if you know my driving record). A tornado put soft-ball sized holes in my back windshield. When you think about it, the tornado doesn't care if I was driving a GW or driving a Porche. Weather doesn't discriminate. That 16-year-old texting? They don't avoid a Porche just because it cost more. Infact, someone might hit me just BECAUSE I drove a nice car. If I get side swiped in the parkinglot? That sucks. But it would suck way more if I drove a Cayenne. 

DON'T IMPULSE BUY anything that costs close to your salary.  Be happy with what you drive. Be happy that it gets you from point A to point B and even has working A/C. (If you do drive a nice car, be happy and don't take it for granted.) If you want to drive a nice car, then do it... but take into consideration what your budget will no longer allow as a result of an expensive car purchase.

Need more help with those justifications? Try these:

• Work hard everyday? Treat yourself to a $3 frozen yogurt instead.
• Need to improve your drive to work?  Download some music off iTunes
• Did you even remember the maintenance costs on that type of car?
• Oh yea, and you can't buy the "cheap" gas anymore.
• Want to invest? Buy a house. Or some mutual funds.
• What if I move to New York/Boston/Chicago and no longer even need a car?
• I would be terrified to leave my car in the garage... or park close to a store
• Easy target for criminals (No one messes with the Ghetto Whip)
• (Feel free to fill in your own)
• Most importantly? Porches get hit too.

Moral of the story? Love the one you're with. Car that is.

The Curse of Instant Gratification

Welcome to the generation of the Ys. We are from the generation where MTV told us that if there wasn’t change and excitement in every 2 minute clip to change the channel. We grew up watching TRL which was only 60 second clips of the best and most exciting part of a 3 minute music video (really? We coudn’t watch the whole thing?) We love bullet points (Quick and to the point right?) Don’t grab my attention in the first 30 seconds? Good luck keeping my focus. We read headlines only. If that. Don’t like your job? Quit. Fighting with boyfriend? Dump him. If we invest, we want money instantly. We want to lose weight, we want it now. We want fast and exciting or we are bored. Instant gratification. Attention span of a 5 year old.

I’ve probably already lost your attention.

When it comes to investments we have such a short focus – which is exactly opposite of the approach we need to take. If we put money in stock or a mutual fund, we expect to make money that year (You might say: “THAT YEAR!?!? It better be that week/month!”) but that is not the point. Long term focus. If you look at charts of the market, every fund fluctuates.  Leave it in there for 20 years and you will have plenty of money from it. It is that need of instant gratification that hurts our generation’s investing habits.

Another approach. If you put $150 into an IRA each month for the rest of your life you will be set for retirement.  Whoa. OR you can use that money to buy a new pair of heels. Did you hear me ONE new pair of heels. That may give you blisters or potentially go out of style (since you are so cutting edge) or you may simply step in the crack of a cobblestone sidewalk and break the heel. Someone is bound to spill something on it if you wear it out. 15 years from now you wont have those shoes. But 15 years from now you will have made interest on that IRA and have a more secure future.

Don’t quit on your investments if the market goes down (unless you are playing the stock market). Don’t refresh your mutual fund screen every day hoping to earn more money. PATIENCE. It is a virtue and one that is completely missing from our generation. Be savvier than that. Kick that curse of instant gratification in the face and set yourself up to be a rich girl down the road.