Porches get hit too

I think most 20-somethings know the feeling. The "I would look really great driving that car" feeling. The "I work hard and deserve a nice car" feeling. Why is there such an association with nice cars = success? (besides to obvious fact that you can't buy a nice car until you have plenty of money to throw into it?)

I would look great driving a Porsche Cayenne. That cute little cross-over. Probably a white exterior. Or perhaps a pearl? (Not that either colors are practical since I would have to also budget in a weekly car wash). I would ride in style and arrive in style. I mean, first impressions are everything right? It is amazing how we can justify material possessions. I'll give you a few of my own justifications:

• I work hard everyday, I can afford to treat myself to a luxury item
• I drive to work everyday. If I have to drive that much, I should enjoy the ride
• I mean, someday I'll have kids and have to have a "Mommy" car. I deserve this.
• A car doesn't go out of style as fast as a pair of shoes would
• But, (Insert Name Here) drives a Porche/Lexus/Beemer/Audi. I should too!
• It's an investment. (It's really not....)
• I can finance it....
• I live in Dallas - isn't a luxury car more of a need than a want here?
• If I had a nice car, I would take better care of it.

Pretty good, huh? (Tempted to stop writing this post and go get myself one instead). But I don't drive a Porsche Cayenne. I drive a 2004 Toyota Corolla. It a couple strips of ducktape on the front bumper from an "instance" a year ago. It has a post-factory radio system that the previous owner installed which is nearly impossible to use. It has shiny "rims" which lends itself to the name my coworkers have lovingly given the car, "Ghetto Whip". (Or just GW for short). So what keeps me in my little Toyota Corolla?

Porches get hit too. I just picked up GW from the shop today. This time it wasn't my fault (impressive, if you know my driving record). A tornado put soft-ball sized holes in my back windshield. When you think about it, the tornado doesn't care if I was driving a GW or driving a Porche. Weather doesn't discriminate. That 16-year-old texting? They don't avoid a Porche just because it cost more. Infact, someone might hit me just BECAUSE I drove a nice car. If I get side swiped in the parkinglot? That sucks. But it would suck way more if I drove a Cayenne. 

DON'T IMPULSE BUY anything that costs close to your salary.  Be happy with what you drive. Be happy that it gets you from point A to point B and even has working A/C. (If you do drive a nice car, be happy and don't take it for granted.) If you want to drive a nice car, then do it... but take into consideration what your budget will no longer allow as a result of an expensive car purchase.

Need more help with those justifications? Try these:

• Work hard everyday? Treat yourself to a $3 frozen yogurt instead.
• Need to improve your drive to work?  Download some music off iTunes
• Did you even remember the maintenance costs on that type of car?
• Oh yea, and you can't buy the "cheap" gas anymore.
• Want to invest? Buy a house. Or some mutual funds.
• What if I move to New York/Boston/Chicago and no longer even need a car?
• I would be terrified to leave my car in the garage... or park close to a store
• Easy target for criminals (No one messes with the Ghetto Whip)
• (Feel free to fill in your own)
• Most importantly? Porches get hit too.

Moral of the story? Love the one you're with. Car that is.

Love Your "Now"

Okay, I'll admit it. I have had a self-diagnosed bad case of the post-vacay-blues this entire week. If you don't know what I am talking about, then you haven't been on a really good vacation (and by all means, stop reading this post and go book yourself an incredible trip). You know, that sitting at the desk at work dreaming of laying on that St. Croix beach.... bragging about your scuba diving abilities..... purposely picking outfits that will highlight that newly found tan (the one your coworkers have probably never seen, because, well.. you have a desk job) feeling. That was me this week. (if you add in "talking at nausea about the gorgeous island and the flavored rum to anyone who will listen")

I find myself at frozen yogurt (anyone who knows me is probably not surprised at this typical statement) with Ashlyn talking, once again, about our desire to do something adventurously fabulous. We want to be "those people" who pick up and follow our hearts. This isn't our first time to talk about it... seeing as we are both accountants.

And then it hits me.

I am not that person NOW. Sure, I always have the option to become a FatTireBike Tour Guide in Italy at any moment (not-so-secret dream), but that is not my life Now. And if I spend my days/nights thinking about what I might do in the future, I am going to wake up one day and  have completely missed the Now.

Let me elaborate. If I woke up tomorrow and went to Italy, I would miss out on those weekly girl dates with Ashlyn. (I would also blow my budget on a flight to Italy the day of, but lets not even go there). I would miss not going to my brother's graduation in a few weeks. I would miss the beautiful weddings that I am attending/participating in this fall for my closest friends. I wouldn't get to fly to Houston next weekend to have a girls weekend. If you spend all your time with your head somewhere else you will miss out on the great things in your life today.

One step farther? I think somewhere, deep, deep down I am glad I have a sell-out-to-the-man job (for 3-5 years max) so that I can prove to myself that I can do it. I'm not ready to win the lotto or take off to Italy tomorrow.... I want to live in my Now and know I can make it on my own. (However, if any of you just won the lotto and want to send me a couple million, then disregard the above post). A savvy twenty-something knows that great feeling of putting on her favorite stilettos and sassy work skirt and knowing that today you can tackle that corporate ladder (with the upmost style of course).

In Conclusion: If you aren't going to go to Italy tomorrow? Enjoy your Today. Because someday you might just end up in Italy missing what you have Now.

Stop looking at the neighbor's yard and water your own damn grass

I know, not a typical title for me. Not girly (but still sassy), here is the point: Sure, the grass might be greener on the otherside... but wouldn't we be happy with our own yard if we stopped comparing? Maybe if we spent more time watering our yard and less time peering over the fence (I picture Wilson from Home Improvement), then the grass would be greener on our side. And if we stopped comparing, we might be happy with our green just the way it is.

I wonder if any of you follow.

A study at Warton Business school stated that people would rather make $50,000 when their friends are making $25,000 than make $100,000 when their friends are making $250,000. Are we really that concerned about comparing ourselves to others? (Yes) And is it really necessary to wish for success compared to the people (our friends) who are supposed to accept us for who we are? Perhaps, if we changed our mindset we would be happier by comparing less. I'm not saying this is easy, but shouldn't we at least try? I think being aware of it is the first step.

My friend Ashlyn has the cutest wardrobe. I am talking designer, matching, put together, fashionable items. There are days that her hair is perfectly curled while mine is airdrying with the windows down on the way to work (don't pretend you haven't tried that move - and if you haven't? You so should!). Her shoes match her her clothes perfectly, while I am sometimes hoping that I am not wearing one black and one navy. (Okay, I'm not that bad, but just go with me). I will never be completely satisfied with my wardrobe if I compare myself to Ashlyn. Yes, I could try waking up 15 minutes earlier.. but lets be honest. But really, she doesn't care what I am wearing, and neither does my predominately male team. If I don't compare, my happiness goes up. (Or better yet, take myself on a shopping spree!)

Same thing goes for non-material situations. There was a day in HighSchool that I told my mom I was worried I wouldn't get into college. This wasn't because I was "dumb". I was in all honors classes. My problem was that I was comparing myself to students who were also overachievers and found myself mediocre in comparison. Compare less, study harder, and I would be just fine.

How many other times do I compare my work to the work of coworkers? Or compare my apartment to the apartment of my friend's? How can I turn all of this external focus inward and actually improve the one that matters?
1. Awareness. Okay, I am done taking notes from Wilson. Do we even know what that guy looks like anyways?
2. Water your own grass. Focus on my "yard" or wardrobe or work and stop caring about others. When noticing that focus changes, change it back
3. Focus on your strengths. My body type couldn't pull off half the stuff Ashlyn wears anyways!
4. Don't knock other's down. Why wish your friends made less than you? Shouldn't you be secure enough to want others to succeed as well?
5. I really want a 5th - any suggestions?

For the Love of Airports

There are things in life that just suck. Like paying car insurance (even though they make that look fun on the commercials). In the adult world, I have come to terms with the fact that some things in life are just not as much fun as others. Like paying car insurance - unless you are one of the lucky people who live in a city with public transportation and do not realize what I am talking about. (In which case insert "paying taxes" - unless you are one of the people who get a tax refund... but you get the point).

There are two options in life when it comes to things you "have" to do. Complain about it, or make the most of it.

For me? Airports is the perfect example. Some people hate Airports (and waiting). I realize that it is an essential part of my life - for work, see friends, and my constant desire to travel. (turns out I don't even have enough vacation days from work to take a boat across the Pacific to Hong Kong - but that's another blog post). If you have to do it? Might as well find the positive.

My love for Airports: (This is purely an example, because, well... it was easier to come up with positive about flying than positives about

(1) I am either going somewhere or going home. Both are fun
(2) I have a chance to read all the back of the books that I wish I had time to read.
(3) I have fully convinced myself that calories do not count in the airport
(4) I can finally catch up on that magazine detailing the Kardashian wedding - even though they are already divorced
(5) If I listen carefully I will hear interesting conversations
(6) If I pay attention I will see some interesting people - seriously, prime place to people watch
(7) I can make that phone call to that person that I have been meaning to get in touch with
(8) It is almost nap time.
(9) Always, Always, Always, get frozen yogurt in the airport.
(10) Moving sidewalks are fun, there just aren't enough of them in the world.

Next time you find yourself doing something you "have to do" find a way to make it fun. Make a top ten list. You might as well enjoy the wait.

Fresh Impressions

First impressions are everything. (I am clearly not the person who came up with that concept or the science to back it up - I wish I was, because then? I would be so rich and famous that I wouldn't have to keep my day job)  But first impressions are not always easy.

Welcome to training at a big four accounting firm. (It is not just public accounting, let's face it, there is probably plenty of this in your training rooms too. And if there isn't? well, are they hiring?) Here is a room with 30 people who are all at the same level and competing for jobs, raises, and titles. (vicious sounding, I know) The new girl walks in. She just transferred, never worked on a job with anyone from the rest of the group, and no one knows her. She is like the new kid in school (that no one really likes). When she has to give her introduction everyone watches her and sizes up the competition. (Okay, this may be a little dramatic, but the point is there). She sits down at the table, reaches into her purse, and pulls out a little tin of mints. She takes one for herself and then asks "does anyone else want one?". In 5 seconds she turns from "potential threat" to best friend of everyone at the table.

Okay, alittle dramatic. But the point is there. Everyone loves gifts. Something free. The offering of the mint makes her instantly a "friend" and there is a small tiny bond and a smile exchanged. If you enter a room of people find a gesture, whether it is a mint or simply plugging in the team's laptops. It's the little things that count.

Just remember, for  $1.50 at your local drug store you can buy your way into making a great first impression.

$5 or a bowl of ice cream?

This is not a blog saying that you should save $5 and not get ice cream. As any of my close friends (or anyone who has been within ear distance of me) could tell you I am a HUGE frozen yogurt fan. I could single handedly keep some of the "froyo" places in Dallas in business. (I would put froze yogurt right below my love of shoes).

That being said, we got free ice cream at work today (Marble Slab- not too shabby). I made the bold statement to my coworkes-friends (the coworkers who double as friends, everyone needs some of those, but that could be a whole different post) that "I would rather have $5 than a bowl of ice cream". We may not get big raises... but don't worry, we get free ice cream! Why would I take the $5 in my account? because, well, then I could do with the money as I pleased. (yes, a Conservative mentality... maybe living in Texas has actually gotten to me)

It took a bit of discussion for me to realize that perhaps the value that was given to be from the "Ice Cream Social" was more than the $5 the company seemingly wasted for my bowl. Let's look at the big picture. I axiously awaited "Ice Cream Day" all week. Most people here did. They might not have talked about it as much as I did, but people were actually in line waiting for it 10 minutes before the event started. We had some "bonding" while we all sat at tables and socialied for 15 minutes, and we thought "yay free stuff" (who doesn't like free stuff). I know their point was a little morale booster. To be honest? It probably boosted our morale more than $5 would have anyways -  that and I didn't have to pay tax on the morale booster. (It would only have been $3.50 anyways.

The lesson here is this:
(1) Try to keep the big picture in mind
(2) If it is free, be happy - don't complain
(3) Volunteer to help your company put together "morale boosting events" so you can pick more exciting flavors than vanilla, french vanilla, and chocolate.

The New Approach: Enter into the world of realistic shopping

"Window Shopping". We are all guilty of doing it. Sure its fine to go shopping and not buy anything, but how often do we find something that we simply CAN'T live without and make it our personal mission to buy it? We justify it and reason why we deserve or need it (I mean, I could wear it out at night and during the day... it completely makes an outfit.... I will bring my lunch to work for a week) or just chalk it up to a "impulsive buy" and purchase our good. (in my case? it tends to be shoes.. but everyone has their vice)

The other problem with unrealistic shopping is increased expectations. It's the same thing we have been doing to ourselves since we were in middle school. We would hang posters on our walls from Teen People of amazingly built actors and drool over the abercombie bag models.We then go to school the next day and hit with the realization that boys in middle school are not much more than "scrawny" at that age.

If you spend all day staring at Michael Kors, your DSW and Payless shoes are going to much less of an appeal. Why look at $4000 apartments "just for fun" only to make your 600 sq foot mini-place feel even more subpar.

This is probably a harder task than it seems, but I have to admit, realistic shopping might just have its perks. Be happy with what you have and don't always want that beautiful pair of stilettos in the window....

Don't hate your commute, Embrace it!

I am pretty sure no one would argue that Oprah isn't a pretty smart lady (let's face it, she has the most successful talk show, her own magazine, extreme wealth, a good reputation, and definitely a household name). I would have said that she tends to speak more to our mother's generation. (Isn't it funny how suddenly you reach your twenties and your parent's generation isn't so dumb anymore?) BUT A great point that Oprah made on her show is that more people hate their commute than hate their jobs when it really comes down to it. Interesting, since most people I know aren't exactly ecstatic about working.

Does this apply to our generation? Absolutely. This applies to my friend who has to drive an hour north to go to grad classes 2 days a week. Or my coworkers who got assigned to a client 45 minutes away. This applies to all the people I know (and see) stuck on the interstate trying to make it to work by 8.

So what? Is the solution to move? Well, maybe, if you live in an apartment and feel like you would be happier closer to the office. But that can be a bit drastic (especially if you are only on a client for a few months, or commute a couple days a week). Maybe instead we should just learn to embrace the commute.

I was talking to my friend Emily who was less than thrilled about her drive when this idea came to me. We started brainstorming ideas to make her commute something to look forward to. Here are my ideas:

1. Connect with old friends. No, I am not saying that you should text and drive. But so many cars have hands free devices built in anyways that its a shame to waste good technology. Haven't you ever had a meal with a friend where 3 hours feels like only 10 minutes. Apply this concept to driving. Bam! You are at your destination!
2. Plan your day. This is such a good time to think about your to-do list. Figure out when you will be getting things done, and get prepared and mentally ready for the day.
3. Jam out to your favorite playlist. When else do you get to listen to your favorite songs? Sure maybe if you go for a run, but this gives you the same opportunity without the pain and suffering.
4. Learn something new. There are so many books on tape, why not learn something you've always wanted to learn? Maybe a new language? or just some new skill? Improve yourself and take the time for yourself to actually grow.
5. Relax. Really. Road rage is a state of mind. Instead of being frustrated in traffic, think of it as some extra time that you get to spend by yourself. You have no other obligations at the moment and can purely relax and spend some quality "ME" time!

Did this work for Emily? Yes. Does it work all the time? Eh, I'm sure it doesn't. But its worth a shot right?

Let me know if the theory works for you. What do you do to embrace your commute?

Love where you live

When I travel to another city (in the US, or outside the states) I imagine what my life would be like in that city. I think of how amazing it would be to wander the Louvre on a Saturday, or take run by the ocean before work.

I had drinks with a guy who truly loved where he lived (the city that is) I mean truly, deeply, loved everything about the city and its culture. Of course this made me want to sell Dallas, so I thought of every positive I could possibly think of to share about the Big D. Turns out excitement can be contagious and I realized I liked the city I lived in. (But again, not as much as this guy liked his hometown)

It is important that you love the city you live in. You do, after all, spend way more time in that city than you do on vacation. Have you ever stopped to think that some people actually go on vacation to see your home town? What draws them there? I have no research to back this up, but I think you are happier overall if you love where you live.

How do you do love where you live?
1. Play tourist for a day- go to all the sites that you think an outsider would go to if they were visiting. (Frommer's is actually free online - try to knock off every "To Do" on the list)
2. Always root for the home team - (unless they are playing the spurs) I can't help but think there isn't some sort of bonding a city goes through when the home team wins. They honk at eachother, drink with eachother, and are generally united in city pride.
3. Appreciate the view. Whether its a skyline, a beach, a forest, a quaint neighborhood... every city has something. (guilty. I live by the skyline and forget to really appreciate it unless I am showing it off)
4. Enjoy a dinner out. We forget that we might live in a city fabulous restaurants (because we are cheap) and then go on vacation, splurge, and think other places have WAY better food. Guess what? A night out where you live to experience a good meal is cheaper than a whole vacation. On vacation we try to "eat like the locals"... in your own town, don't you think you should BE that local?

I challenge you to try one (or all) of my random ideas to work on loving where you live. You just never know when you may have to move. Any other ideas? Open to suggestions, ideas, or any research to back up my hypothesis!