Watch Yourself

Time. Such a sensitive subject when you really think about it. “Time is limited” and “Time is money” and “Time flies”. Such a source of stress, anxiety, frustration, and arguments. How many times do I look back at when I was growing up and remember my Dad screaming at us to leave? Oh wait, that was over the holiday break too – some things really don’t change. (In our defense, my Dad thinks that 10 minutes early is on time…. Which means if he says to be ready to leave for dinner at 6, he really means 5:50. And if you are a teenage girl, those precious 10 minutes make all the difference in appearance… which is more valuable than time… but back on track). I think of the frustration my Dad faced and the aggravation it caused my mother and me. What wasted energy.

Basically, people view time differently.

It is interesting that people from different cultures view time differently. My experience is that Europeans view time as a relative term. 6:00 could mean 5:45 or it could mean 6:45. Why rush? What is the big rush?

Why are Americans so stressed and pressed for time? Are the Eurpoeans or eastern cultures less stressed and more content? Could our time pressure be what makes our culture so productive? (And also die of heart attacks and high blood pressure?)

You might be asking: What should a Savvy 20-something care about the large differences in time perspectives? Good question. (Maybe because technically I asked it of myself). When it boils down the importance of time, it is important to remember that there are people like my Dad out there. Infact, the real world seems to be full of them. What message does it send to a friend if I am 10 minutes late to dinner? It says “I don’t value your time, I think it is okay to make you waste your precious time waiting on me”. Same thing when you are meeting your boss – and in that situation? That could cost you your job.

I had to meet a manager for a meeting at 8am. This meeting was 30ish minutes from my house (and in the heart of rush hour). I also hate morning (mornings being before noon). But what did I do? I got myself out of bed extra early, so despite traffic, and despite hating mornings, I could be at work at 7:45 to prepare for the meeting. What message does it send to a superior (or a coworker) when you roll in at  8:15 instead? I don’t get “points” for coming early, but I am sure she was more willing to help me than if I came in late.

On the flip side, if you are meeting someone – and being the prompt person that you now will be – beat them to work/dinner/etc, have some patience. Know that sometimes life happens, and that their schedule might just not have let them get there on time. Their clock culture could be different.

To end: Just remember, always “Watch” yourself and be on time. (hey, good excuse to go shopping for a cute new watch right?)

Always Look Up

This was one of the best pieces of advice I was ever given. My friend Bailey told me when we were studying abroad to “Always Look Up”. She couldn’t have been more right. Literally the ceilings in Rome were the most detailed and beautiful thing I had ever seen. The colors, the paintings, the carvings. How many people go to a new place and spend more time watching their feet walk or staring at a map? Little did I know that this piece of advice can stretch much further than a “vacation”.

Running outside. We have all been there (okay, we haven’t ALL been there – but then really, you should try it sometime.) It is hot and you are dripping sweat, or it is cold and your throat is burning. Your side hurts. You can’t seem to have enough oxygen ever. Your left knee is feeling inflamed, or maybe it is the other one? Your legs hurt in general. So do your arms now that you think about it. How long have you been running? For three days? Oh no wait…. Only about 20 minutes. ---- Maybe that was dramatic, but not really. People tend to look down. Stare at their feet or the side walk (Okay, I am going to take only one step per sidewalk square until I’m home). STOP. Look up. Appreciate nature. Look at that neat architecturally awesome house. Or that puppy down the street. Looking up to appreciate the world is much better than staring at the ground (and well worth tripping on a random tree branch).

Career. As a fresh out of school 20-something it is pretty easy to be working in a job that isn’t exactly your dream job. Look up. Look at the position 5,10,15 years down the road. Is that a position you want? Could you see yourself there? (by the way, this is the difference between a job and a career I think). Is what you are doing now going to make a difference when you “look up”. Maybe this is the motivation you need to just work alittle harder. (Or the motivation you need to have a job change?)

Just the three of us: Me, my Honey, and my Money.

Yes, I know I am single. (No need to comment on the bottom of the post. I get it. And if I didn’t get it? Valentine’s Day always makes sure to remind us single people out there.)

In honor of the holiday I want to shed some light on a topic that has become near and dear to my heart. The psychology of couples and their money. Here is why: I have a ton of friends getting married (and many that are not accountants). The divorce rate is over 50% and rising. The majority of marriage end due to money related reasons. How many friends could I help if I simply encouraged them to talk the money talk before the wedding/baby talk? People simply have different views on money. (I honestly think that this may be finally what I decided I may want to do with my life – so feedback is much appreciated)

Happy Valentines Day – Feel free to take my mini-test with your honey. Ideally I would be curious to have each person take the quiz separately and then compare answers and discuss (although, maybe you should take it on the 15^th?)

1. How do you feel about joint checking accounts vs. separate checking accounts?
2. Do you share credit cards?
3.  If your honey spends $100 for a new pair of shoes, do you get the spend $100 for a new pair of shoes?
4.  If your honey spends $1000 in car repairs, do you get the spend $1000?
5. At what dollar value do you need to run your purchase through your spouse? $10? $100? $1000? $10,000?
6.  How do you plan to save for retirement? Kids? A house?
7. Do you think its important to pay for your kid’s college? Do you want them to go to private school?
8.  Do you believe in investing conservatively with lower pay out? Or would you rather take a risk and invest with a chance of a higher payout?
9. If you can’t have everything: Would you rather have an expensive house, clothes, car, or vacation?
10. How do you manage and maintain a “fun fund” – is it fair for one person to go on vacation without the other? Do you keep track? How do you make sure the other person doesn’t hold a grudge?

Food for thought. And really? This food for thought has way less calories than that chocolate you intend to eat tonight.

(Oh yea, and please feel free to email me with comments/questions/ideas – or to let me know how the conversation went with the test. malloryspigel@gmail.com. I can also put out a fire if this post caused one- OR LEAVE A COMMENT - If you are brave)

The Path to Growing Up

DISCLAIMER: This isn't a savvy life tip.

I wrote this for an Esquire Magazine competition. We had to use 76 words to write some sort of poem-creative-like-entry. I never actually submitted my "poem".  Savvy life tip (that is completely overused and totally cliche): Sometimes the joy is in the journey. Here is the poem. Wonder what you guys think. Hello real world.

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: I don't actually think I am grown up yet.

The Path to Growing Up

Realizing your parents’ don’t know everything. Finding your own path.

Trying to fit in. Finding the friends where you don’t need to try.

Dancing with others. Finding your own beat.

Seeking acceptance.  Seeking independence. Finding contentment.

The first kiss, first love, first heart break. Finding you have to love yourself first.

Making mistakes.  Disappointing others. Disappointing yourself. Finding how to pick  yourself back up.

Realizing your parents’ were right all along. Finding appreciation.

Searching for your passion. Finding your passion – and never giving up.

Stop looking at the neighbor's yard and water your own damn grass

I know, not a typical title for me. Not girly (but still sassy), here is the point: Sure, the grass might be greener on the otherside... but wouldn't we be happy with our own yard if we stopped comparing? Maybe if we spent more time watering our yard and less time peering over the fence (I picture Wilson from Home Improvement), then the grass would be greener on our side. And if we stopped comparing, we might be happy with our green just the way it is.

I wonder if any of you follow.

A study at Warton Business school stated that people would rather make $50,000 when their friends are making $25,000 than make $100,000 when their friends are making $250,000. Are we really that concerned about comparing ourselves to others? (Yes) And is it really necessary to wish for success compared to the people (our friends) who are supposed to accept us for who we are? Perhaps, if we changed our mindset we would be happier by comparing less. I'm not saying this is easy, but shouldn't we at least try? I think being aware of it is the first step.

My friend Ashlyn has the cutest wardrobe. I am talking designer, matching, put together, fashionable items. There are days that her hair is perfectly curled while mine is airdrying with the windows down on the way to work (don't pretend you haven't tried that move - and if you haven't? You so should!). Her shoes match her her clothes perfectly, while I am sometimes hoping that I am not wearing one black and one navy. (Okay, I'm not that bad, but just go with me). I will never be completely satisfied with my wardrobe if I compare myself to Ashlyn. Yes, I could try waking up 15 minutes earlier.. but lets be honest. But really, she doesn't care what I am wearing, and neither does my predominately male team. If I don't compare, my happiness goes up. (Or better yet, take myself on a shopping spree!)

Same thing goes for non-material situations. There was a day in HighSchool that I told my mom I was worried I wouldn't get into college. This wasn't because I was "dumb". I was in all honors classes. My problem was that I was comparing myself to students who were also overachievers and found myself mediocre in comparison. Compare less, study harder, and I would be just fine.

How many other times do I compare my work to the work of coworkers? Or compare my apartment to the apartment of my friend's? How can I turn all of this external focus inward and actually improve the one that matters?
1. Awareness. Okay, I am done taking notes from Wilson. Do we even know what that guy looks like anyways?
2. Water your own grass. Focus on my "yard" or wardrobe or work and stop caring about others. When noticing that focus changes, change it back
3. Focus on your strengths. My body type couldn't pull off half the stuff Ashlyn wears anyways!
4. Don't knock other's down. Why wish your friends made less than you? Shouldn't you be secure enough to want others to succeed as well?
5. I really want a 5th - any suggestions?

Do one thing just for you

Tell me if this sounds like you:
You wake up late for work. Hurry to work. Stay late because, well, we are young and have to put our time in. Come home. Pay the credit card. Run to the store for a birthday card/or more mascara/or "team snacks"/or milk or basically anything. Pretend that you are going to work out that night, but decide against it (typical). Call your mom. Turn on the TV. Pass out on the couch. Repeat.

Welcome to my life during a busy week. And aren't many weeks busy?

Once we grow up and get married and have kids I can only imagine (and as I have heard) that you have less "me" time. Less time to do what we really want to do. Or something that just makes us happy. I think it would be good to get in the habit now of finding something that I do JUST for me, and not for my parents or my friends or my coworkers.

I spend alot of time doing things for other people (that makes me happy) and I am sure most of us do. But shouldn't we make an effort to make time in our super busy lives for just ONE thing for "me"? The importance of having a "me" thing is not just for selfish reasons but mental sanity.

For me? It is writing this blog. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if no one really reads this post. It gives me a chance to get my thoughts out there and on paper and have a moment to do what I love to do (write). For you? It could be that step class that you love going to. Or getting your nails done. Or taking a bath. Figure out what it is and do it. (That's my challenge - accept it if you please).

For the Love of Airports

There are things in life that just suck. Like paying car insurance (even though they make that look fun on the commercials). In the adult world, I have come to terms with the fact that some things in life are just not as much fun as others. Like paying car insurance - unless you are one of the lucky people who live in a city with public transportation and do not realize what I am talking about. (In which case insert "paying taxes" - unless you are one of the people who get a tax refund... but you get the point).

There are two options in life when it comes to things you "have" to do. Complain about it, or make the most of it.

For me? Airports is the perfect example. Some people hate Airports (and waiting). I realize that it is an essential part of my life - for work, see friends, and my constant desire to travel. (turns out I don't even have enough vacation days from work to take a boat across the Pacific to Hong Kong - but that's another blog post). If you have to do it? Might as well find the positive.

My love for Airports: (This is purely an example, because, well... it was easier to come up with positive about flying than positives about

(1) I am either going somewhere or going home. Both are fun
(2) I have a chance to read all the back of the books that I wish I had time to read.
(3) I have fully convinced myself that calories do not count in the airport
(4) I can finally catch up on that magazine detailing the Kardashian wedding - even though they are already divorced
(5) If I listen carefully I will hear interesting conversations
(6) If I pay attention I will see some interesting people - seriously, prime place to people watch
(7) I can make that phone call to that person that I have been meaning to get in touch with
(8) It is almost nap time.
(9) Always, Always, Always, get frozen yogurt in the airport.
(10) Moving sidewalks are fun, there just aren't enough of them in the world.

Next time you find yourself doing something you "have to do" find a way to make it fun. Make a top ten list. You might as well enjoy the wait.

Ode to Online Shopping

Ah, let's get back to the basics. Shoes. (and shopping)

It's been awhile since one of these posts. Here is the thing, with the holiday season just now over, it is hard to rebuild our savings (if we had to dip into for holiday presents/parties/trips) and treat yourself. Oh, but in steps the solution.

My Ode to Online Shopping:

(1) Affordability- That's right, you can price shop all you want at the tip of your fingers! Have your heart set on some new boots? Check out the same style at 6 online stores in less than 5 minutes (thank you google shopping). See where you can get free shipping, and suddenly you have saved more money than if you spend $10 on gas and 3 hours of your life driving to different stores. It's a blessing to be part of this online-generation, take advantage of it!

(2) Convenience - Seriously? I can shop in my sweatpants from the comfort of my living room while watching TV? Almost too convenient if you ask me...

(3) Variety - So I can visit 12 stores in an hour? That's physically not possible. PLUS many places carry clothes that they don't carry in stores (this is even more relevant if you live in a small town without a mega mall or outlet stores)

(4) Sale Items - Many stores carry more sale items that they don't carry in the stores. For an added benefit, you get to find sale items without digging through the huge bins for 30 minutes before discovering they don't have your size anyways.

(5) Shipping - You have your package in a few days show up at your door step. A little present to yourself.

(6) Crowd-less - If you don't like people (or even just crowds?) no worries. No one can push you out of the way or cut in the check out line. Sounds good for stress levels if you ask me!

(7) Easy Gifts - Need to send a gift to a friend out of town? Easy! They do the shipping for you. That is one less hassle!

Thank you internet for providing me with the wonderful world of online shopping. And with that? I am signing off to visit a few good friends (Amazon.com & Overstock.com)

Happy (Online) Shopping!

Learn Something New

A savvy girl in the real world has to be "well rounded". Sigh, but what does this really mean? And why is it so important?

I'm not saying that you need to be an expert in everything, or really anything for that matter, but you have to be able to briefly talk politics with your parent's friends, business issues with the manager at work, sports with the guys at lunch, and marriage (or babies) with your friends that are married (or have babies). I am not saying you need to be the expert on politics - but with the elections around the corner, it wouldn't hurt to know a thing or two about some debates so that you aren't the only one standing there in silent at a dinner party.

But what if I don't like politics (or sports or business news or world news or basically anything besides online shoe shopping and watching bravo?) It seems to me that people tend to only read or watch shows that are like them. If I don't like shorts, you won't catch me reading the ESPN magazine (or whatever they read....). If I only care about pop culture (which I don't, I care about shoes too...) then you will see me reading an US weekly and watching E! News. But what do I learn from that? I am completely guilty of this - How many times have I found myself reading a book that I could have written myself?

Last week I decided to download these "Laughing Historically" pod casts. They are short 5-10 minute videos that teach you something about history (in a funny way). I am about as much of a history buff as I am one of those girls who screams at the TV during a baseball game. But I like hearing little snipbits of funny history (or watching a baseball game at a stadium with friends). Turns out that I had something to contribute to conversation everyday at work that week. My coworkers actually ASKED me what I had learned in my podcast that morning. I will never be a history buff, or an avid die-hard baseball fan, but I have to admit that learning something new and branching out sure felt good.

Try it. Learn something new. Worth a shot right?

Disclaimer: I understand how you might not think there is any relevance for the goat, but I know nothing about goats. And if you have any interest on learning things about goats? well, you never know when you'll want to bust out goat facts. Plus, I thought the picture might be interesting enough for people to want to read this post. We will see if it works..

Resolutions (Part 3): A picture is worth a thousand words

Sometimes I wonder where those "sayings" come from. Thankfully, I live in the age of Google - where knowledge is sitting at our finger tips (literally).

In this case "A picture is worth a thousand words" is attributed in modern times to Fred Bernard who (while trying to promote image ads instead of the words in 1921) stated that "A look is worth a thousand words". According to the Yale book of quotations "A look is worth a thousand words" is first seen in a New York Times Real Estate advertisement in 1914. Either way, A saying that is almost 100 years old must have some truth to it.

But I digress.

How does this relate to New Year's Resolutions? (Good question!) Instead of purely using the motivation technique of "writing down resolutions" (which, per "Part 2" is better than not writing them down at all) It is surely more beneficial to have a visual image of resolutions. Why is this? (1) How many times are we told to visualize our goals? It never fails that famous athletes talk about  visualizing their success - If you don't believe me, check out this article from College Sports Scholarships (2) It is a constant reminder of the goal.

I was talking to my good friend Kelli. This break we are going to make a "Dream Board" where you cut out pictures of your dreams and goals. This can work for resolutions to. Think about it. If I was going to reach into the freezer for some ice cream, and there is a picture of a Victoria Secret fashion model's abs staring back at me... would I really have that craving for chocolate still? (Okay, slightly bad example... chocolate almost always trumps all... but you get the picture - pun intended)

Find your motivation. Find a picture. Make it happen.

Resolutions (Part 2): Learn one from Santa

In honor of Christmas just ending, we should take one from Santa. Maybe he had the right idea all along.

"Making a list, and checking it twice".

If Santa didn't have a list, he would forget which children were the good ones and which presents everyone wanted. Same thing goes with resolutions.

Lets take an verbal contract. In Business Law in college, we learned that verbal contracts hold just as much weight as written contracts (As long as there is a meeting of the minds, mutual consideration, offer and acceptance, performance or deliver, good faith...) Why then do we have written contracts? Besides the proof, there is also something that makes a written contract and signing your name on a dotted more legit. This year? All my resolutions will be written down. (Yours should be too!)

Oh, the implications of writing down a list of resolutions. Suddenly, it seems more meaningful if the goals are written on a piece of paper or better yet, in a list that can be crossed off. Write down your goals. Post the list somewhere that you have to look everyday. How can you ignore that?

Resolutions (Part 1): Realistic Expectations & Breaking Up

Sure, everyone has something they would improve about themselves (and if they don't? Well, they should try to work on being more "humble" then!) Whether it is remember friend's birthdays, lose that last 5 pounds (or 20?), pray more, or keep the house clean... there is always something.

 "New Year's Resolutions" always seems like there is a joke associated with the phrase. You know what I mean, the goal that only lasts until the end of week two. Or until your best friend's birthday and the smell of the cake is consuming your senses. Is it our lack of commitment to our resolutions? or is it just the resolutions themselves. But not this year. This year is going to be different.

While I am not the expert in resolutions (seeing as I have never made it to December and still remembered my resolution from the previous year, or neglected making them all together - not sure which is worse), I am going to spend the next few days really figuring out what makes a resolution a reality. Feel free to ignore the next few blog posts. Or? Take my challenge and join me in my resolutions to reality journey.

Realistic Expectations
"Dream Big" - a concept we have heard since the time we were little. But does dreaming big truly always help us? If the expectations are too big and become too unobtainable, we lose all motivation to reach for them. (I think the perfect goals are just barely out of reach). If I have the goal to reorganize absolutely everything in my apartment on a sunday the job will be come so daunting that I may not even get started. Let's say that I want to reorganize the apartment and then keep it clutter free. Instead of taking that huge task all at once, set realistic expectations. "I am going to clean under the bathroom sink this week. Next week I'll take on the dresser drawers. Or even next month?" Instead of "never having clutter" try to make the goal of cleaning clutter on sundays and wednesdays.

Breaking Up the Goals
Instead of saying "I am going to work out every day - or even twice a day", I KNOW that will not be possible. As soon as I miss those first few days, I will quit altogether and not even try. Setting a goal of 3-4 times a week? okay, that's doable. AND easier to stick to. (plus, I'll end up avoiding the weeks where I don't go to the gym at all). If I set mini-goals, they are easier to obtain and will keep me more motivated.

This year, I will NOT be setting myself up for failure.

Fresh Impressions

First impressions are everything. (I am clearly not the person who came up with that concept or the science to back it up - I wish I was, because then? I would be so rich and famous that I wouldn't have to keep my day job)  But first impressions are not always easy.

Welcome to training at a big four accounting firm. (It is not just public accounting, let's face it, there is probably plenty of this in your training rooms too. And if there isn't? well, are they hiring?) Here is a room with 30 people who are all at the same level and competing for jobs, raises, and titles. (vicious sounding, I know) The new girl walks in. She just transferred, never worked on a job with anyone from the rest of the group, and no one knows her. She is like the new kid in school (that no one really likes). When she has to give her introduction everyone watches her and sizes up the competition. (Okay, this may be a little dramatic, but the point is there). She sits down at the table, reaches into her purse, and pulls out a little tin of mints. She takes one for herself and then asks "does anyone else want one?". In 5 seconds she turns from "potential threat" to best friend of everyone at the table.

Okay, alittle dramatic. But the point is there. Everyone loves gifts. Something free. The offering of the mint makes her instantly a "friend" and there is a small tiny bond and a smile exchanged. If you enter a room of people find a gesture, whether it is a mint or simply plugging in the team's laptops. It's the little things that count.

Just remember, for  $1.50 at your local drug store you can buy your way into making a great first impression.

Pay Yourself First

Pay yourself first. Trick yourself first.

I was talking to a guy friend who is worries that his future wife would drain all his money. (I am sure he put it in slightly nicer words than that, but I figured I should cut to the chase). Her idea of "investing" is investing in a new pair of shoes (can we blame her?) and her idea of "saving" is saving for that new Mercedes she has always had a crush on. Money in the bank is money in your pocket ready to spend at the nearest mall.

The best advice I could come up with? Pay yourself first. (I'll admit it, my mom once gave me that saying... but I am going to give the action plan). I told my friend that he should up his 401(k) and roth IRA contributions that are automatically deducted out of his pay check. I suggested that each month he moved the money that he wants to save into a mutual fund before his future money-loving-wife can even see the balance appear in the checking account. He thought this was brilliant.

The next day I realized that this simple concept is not just for stingy-husbands out to deprive their wives of shoes for the benefit of their future children... this applies to ME! How many times have I decided not to transfer money into savings/mutual fund/investments/etc since "this month is crazy". Guess what? "this" month is ALWAYS crazy. December holidays, January vacations, February weddings, March birthday adventures... and then summer - oh my! The next day I went to work and up my % of automatic deductions from my paycheck into my roth IRA and 401(k). What an easy way to keep myself from spending my savings. Turns out, you can't spend money that you can't touch! (what a concept!)

For extra credit, some companies even match part of your contributions. Definitely check into this with your current company/firm. This is FREE money that you could be wasting. (And if this is the case? Feel free to write me a check with your extra bonus)

Calling all computer nerds

Now, I wouldn't call myself a computer nerd - I can barely log onto my work computer while at home (security and internet connectivity and all that jazz). Don't get me wrong though, I can find a shoe sale online at DSW like it is nobody's business.  Really though, I spend all day all day at my desk working (looking at the computer). I then take a break to check my email (looking at the computer) or to surf the web for some new shoes (looking at the computer). I can go home at night and read my favorite blogs (looking at the computer) or watch the tv show that I missed the night before (looking at the computer). I even prefer to read the news online so that I do not need to see all of the quite frightening videos of murders 5 miles away.

I am not alone. Most of my peers seem to spend all day on the computers only to go home and spend some more time. What is average? 8? 10 hours a day looking at a screen? We joke about how bad this is for our eyes, but what really is the effect? (I am guessing you are one of them if you are online reading this blog)

According to vision works, frequent computer users are at risk for vision stress, glucoma, and short-sitedness. To overall summarize? yes, you can have issues from staring at your screen all day and night. Is there something you can do about it? YES!

How to minimize the wear and tear on your eye balls from staring at a computer screen:

(1) Blink more often. Yes, this sounds really dumb, but people who stare at a computer blink less often than normal (I am very concious of my eye blinking at the moment). The lubercation of blinking helps keep your eyes from getting dry and irritated. Dry eyes from staring at the screen? get some visine!

(2) Take breaks. This is good for productivity anyways. Go get coffee. Go talk to a coworker. STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER. Hey, good reason to take a much deserved break huh?

(3) Adjust your brightness and contrast of the screen. If the screen is too bright you are asking to hurt your eyes. If it is too dark? you may make your eyes work harder than needed. Try to read black font on a white background when possible (like my blog!). If the background is too busy? you my be wearing out your eyes.

(4) Minimize glare. Glare from a window or wall can really wear out your eyes. Whenever possible, angle your computer to avoid this added eye-stressor.

(5) Try eye exercises. Do they work? maybe. Would I tell my friends I was trying them? probably not. Between us, here is a site that will give you detailed instructions.

(6) Consider corrective eyewear. Or just increase the side of the font on the screen. Either way, try to reduce the amount of work your eyes have to do. They even have those super stylish classes!

No matter what you do, you should get your eyes examed. I am not the best example since I absolutely LOATH going to the eye doctor and having them blow that air into my eyes. (Once they even had to tape my eyes open). Vision is so important and a sense that I would NEVER want to lose.

$5 or a bowl of ice cream?

This is not a blog saying that you should save $5 and not get ice cream. As any of my close friends (or anyone who has been within ear distance of me) could tell you I am a HUGE frozen yogurt fan. I could single handedly keep some of the "froyo" places in Dallas in business. (I would put froze yogurt right below my love of shoes).

That being said, we got free ice cream at work today (Marble Slab- not too shabby). I made the bold statement to my coworkes-friends (the coworkers who double as friends, everyone needs some of those, but that could be a whole different post) that "I would rather have $5 than a bowl of ice cream". We may not get big raises... but don't worry, we get free ice cream! Why would I take the $5 in my account? because, well, then I could do with the money as I pleased. (yes, a Conservative mentality... maybe living in Texas has actually gotten to me)

It took a bit of discussion for me to realize that perhaps the value that was given to be from the "Ice Cream Social" was more than the $5 the company seemingly wasted for my bowl. Let's look at the big picture. I axiously awaited "Ice Cream Day" all week. Most people here did. They might not have talked about it as much as I did, but people were actually in line waiting for it 10 minutes before the event started. We had some "bonding" while we all sat at tables and socialied for 15 minutes, and we thought "yay free stuff" (who doesn't like free stuff). I know their point was a little morale booster. To be honest? It probably boosted our morale more than $5 would have anyways -  that and I didn't have to pay tax on the morale booster. (It would only have been $3.50 anyways.

The lesson here is this:
(1) Try to keep the big picture in mind
(2) If it is free, be happy - don't complain
(3) Volunteer to help your company put together "morale boosting events" so you can pick more exciting flavors than vanilla, french vanilla, and chocolate.

The New Approach: Enter into the world of realistic shopping

"Window Shopping". We are all guilty of doing it. Sure its fine to go shopping and not buy anything, but how often do we find something that we simply CAN'T live without and make it our personal mission to buy it? We justify it and reason why we deserve or need it (I mean, I could wear it out at night and during the day... it completely makes an outfit.... I will bring my lunch to work for a week) or just chalk it up to a "impulsive buy" and purchase our good. (in my case? it tends to be shoes.. but everyone has their vice)

The other problem with unrealistic shopping is increased expectations. It's the same thing we have been doing to ourselves since we were in middle school. We would hang posters on our walls from Teen People of amazingly built actors and drool over the abercombie bag models.We then go to school the next day and hit with the realization that boys in middle school are not much more than "scrawny" at that age.

If you spend all day staring at Michael Kors, your DSW and Payless shoes are going to much less of an appeal. Why look at $4000 apartments "just for fun" only to make your 600 sq foot mini-place feel even more subpar.

This is probably a harder task than it seems, but I have to admit, realistic shopping might just have its perks. Be happy with what you have and don't always want that beautiful pair of stilettos in the window....

Change is a good thing

Coffee in the morning (or green tea when I am feeling extra motivated to be healthy), several water bottles a day (don't worry, I refill the same camelbak over and over), and a drink at lunch (not alcoholic of course). Let's just say I have to use the restroom several times a day.

Not that there is anything WRONG with that... or that I am going to get fired for "frequent bathroom usage", but I have to walk by the partner's offices on my way to the restroom. Yes, I look like a slacker. No, I don't really think they keep track of my frequent restroom trips - but still.

Here's the trick. If your office has more than one hallway, use them both. Take turns choosing which hallway to walk down. Two bathrooms? use both and switch up which way you walk each time. We tend to be creatures of habit and frequent the same places over and over (human nature). If you can add some variety to your life, you can drink your 8 glasses guilt-free.

Same trick would apply to leaving early. Trying to sneak out 10 minutes early two days in a row? Maybe you should use the stairs located the opposite direction one of those days. (hey, its healthier for you too!)

Not everyone has the same "issue" as me. But really the greater lesson is to think about what you do over and over as a routine and try to change it up. You may become more efficient and productive (or at least appear that way).

Help! I'm binge shopping!

Retail therapy. We have all heard it and most of us have participated it in. (If you haven't, please shoot me a comment as you are my new idol) It really works too. Sometimes it starts small (that extra lip gloss at the checkout counter) and then grows into more (running next store for some new shoes).

If we have a good day? We reward ourselves with some shoes- or whatever your vice is. If we have a bad day? we make ourselves feel better the same way. Neither of these will help us have a good day when our credit card bill comes in.... or out checking account drops to single didgets.

So the question comes. What do we do now?
(1) Acceptance. The first step in any problem is admitting it. Should be easy, most of us are pretty guilty.
(2) Find your trigger. Try to remember times you have been binge shopping and remember what events or emotions triggered the shopping spree. A break up? A hot new date? A bad day at work? and the next time those events or emotions come up try to catch yourself going to the mall.
(3) Catch yourself in the act. Shocked that you just spent $100 at Banana Republic when you didn't even need anything to begin with? Don't walk into the next store! Go home. Or better yet? catch yourself before you get the the cashregister. (sure you can always return things, but that's just easier said than done!)
(4) Find other ways to reward or cheer yourself up. Whether its working out, spending time with friends, or laying out by the pool (it is summer right?) If you feel you MUST spend money- splurge on some ice cream with a girlfriend. $3 is much easier to squeeze into your budget than $300.

Yes, I know.. it is easier said than done. Is there anyone else who wants to join my support group?

Appearance is Everything

Dress for the part you want. Yes, we have heard that saying over, and over. Many good sayings come from truth.

I am about to buy a new suitcase (I know, its a weekday.. but I took the day off and I desperately need a new suitcase. Cool way to spend vacation huh?) I really need a midsized suitcase and a smaller "carryon". Seeing as I didn't budget for both this month, I can only buy one. Although midsized suitcase is probably more practical for my family wedding in Detriot this weekend, I know my job will potentially have me travelling quite a bit in the future. Lets be honest, no self-respecting business person is allowed to travel for a week a check their bags (trust me, I've been though the teasing). Instead of purchasing the suitcase better suited for a family trip, I intend to buy the carry-on. Gotta practice sometime right? Even if my colleagues weren't to tease me, if you act the part of a good traveler (or whatever part you are looking for) you soon assume the role.

Same applies at everyone's job. If you want more responsibility, volunteer for it once and you will soon be the go-to-gal for the job in the future. (On the flip side, if you DON'T want a responsibility, be careful not to volunteer too quickly... or you might be ordering dinner for the team EVERY night)

I think this saying applies beyond the work place and into your personal life. A good friend of mine (who will remain nameless at this point) was told "If you act immature, you can't be surprised by the type of girls you attract". Not that you should change for a person that you haven't even met yet- but if you want a certain role in the future, you better play the part now.

And with that I'll close with another cliche. "Fake it til you make it". Happy Dressing.

Calling All Working-Ladies

Here's to you all 20-somethings. The generation who learned to type on AIM, defines a relationship through facebook, breaks up over text, and can put all deep thoughts into 140 characters on twitter. Wait, and now you want me to have a business call/interview/etc on the phone!? I may send over 3000 texts a month, but I really only talk on the phone 5 minutes- and you are asking me to have a business phone call? Heres's to all the 20-somethings who I personally know have had the same experience.

At some point in your career, whether it is at the very start (with an interview) or sometime throughout it (conference call, client call, etc) you will probably have a business phone call. So how do we become comfortable in this situation and act like we know what we are doing?

(1) Properly prepare. If you are having a call from home, get completely dressed for work. Sit up tall, not laying on the bed, at a desk or table and answer the phone as though you are at work. If you look the part of a professional, you will act the part. (You wouldnt go shopping without wearing comfortable shoes to run around the mall in without blisters, right?)

(2) Gather everything you are going to need. Make sure you have a bottle of water (just incase), pen and paper, any information you may need for the call. (That would be the equivalent of forgetting to wear a strapless bra when looking for a strapless dress)

(3) Clear the area of distractions. Don't talk on the phone and browse the internet or read the latest newsfeeds on facebook.  (A girl on a mission should never be distracted)

(4) Write down questions or main talking points. BUT make sure you don't read off the sheet. It never hurts to have a cue card, but at the same time? No one wants to talk to a robot. Never interrupt the other person- if you think of something you want to say while they are talking? use that pen and paper you gathered in (2) to  remember your thoughts and continue listening.

(5) Use a normal tone. You don't want to sound cold. Or nervous. If you feel nervous then make sure to talk slower and enunciate- you want the other person to be able to understand you. (You wouldn't show signs of weakness when trying to make a bargain would you?)

(6) Take time to think through your thoughts. We are used to texting or chatting online where we can type, retype, and think about our thoughts before we push send. You can't do this on the phone. Think through what you want to say. THEN say it.

(7) Smile. It goes a long way. And for some reason you really can hear it in someone's voice.

Are we at a disadvantage over the other generations who grew up talking on the phone with friends instead of texting? possibly. Is this something we can easily overcome and become comfortable with? ABSOLUTELY. Grab your career by the phone and confidently rock your important phone call.

Any other tips or advice?

Time is Precious

One thing I have learned working in the real world? Time is precious. Where does the time go? And how do I get more "fun" time?

Yes, there are 168 hours in a week and that sure sounds like alot. Well, until you break it down. You spend roughly  1/3 of those hours working and another 1/3 of those hours sleeping (unless you are one of those lucky human beings who only need 5 hours to operate - there is barely enough coffee in the office to allow me weeks on end of only 5 hours a night...) That leaves you a 1/3rd of your time to do laundry, run errands, go to the grocery store, shower (its important) and get ready, commute to work... and you get the picture.

So what is the solution? We can't quit our jobs (well, I guess we can, but I am not recommending that one), We can't cut down on sleep (again, not my recommendation), We can't exactly stop time (but if you know how to, PLEASE let me know your tricks). All we can do is learn how to use our time more efficiently so that we have more "fun" and less "chore" time.

(1) Make lists. Same as the sticky note concept. If you write down what you need to do, you wont have to constantly be thinking about it to remember it. It frees up your mind to work effectively while at work or out with friends. If you write down what you need to do, you won't forget the important items. Along the same lines, if you make lists for the week you can avoid doing the same task twice. If you figure out meals for the entire week on Sunday, you can only have to go to the grocery store once a week rather than every other night.

(2) Prioritize. Not everything can be done today (and not everything will be done today). Figure out what is a HAVE to do and what is a want to do. You might have to iron your pants for work tomorrow, but you can hold off on washing your sheets two more nights.

(3) Do it now. I can't think of how many "productive sundays" I have laid in bed for an hour longer just thinking about what I needed to do that day.... and then crawled on my couch to watch a quit movie.. you know, to "wake up". By then a friend might call, and of course I would love to go shopping/lunch/movie/just about anything but be productive. Suddenly it is 10pm and I haven't even started my to-do list. Oh procrastination... you were my friend in college, but in the real world? I just don't have time for you anymore.

(4) Time Chunk. Let's say my room is a mess. I am one of those people who will start to straighten it, then take a shower, then straighten some more, then make a phone call, then maybe pick up one more thing, then run to the store. I am most productive when I put a few songs on grooveshark and say "I am going to clean until these three songs are done." The task is literally almost always done.... and in 1/4 of the time. Focus on what you are doing, and the job gets done.

(5) Combine certain tasks. This sounds like it contradicts (4), but stick with me. Some "chores" can be done while doing something you have to do anyways (stick with me while I try to explain). Let's say I am walking to lunch to meet a friend. While I walk, I might as well call the front office to fix a leaky facet. Or (by making lists) I can prepare ahead of time so that I am taking my checks to the ATM inside the grocery store rather than making a separate trip to the bank later. Simple, yet effective. (Also sometimes easier said than done for my frazzled self)

(6) Find your optimal productivity-time. My friend Kelly will get up at 5am (yes, that sounds painful to me too) to do chores and work out before work. She has 3 additional hours every morning that I snooze through. She claims that after work she is absolutely unproductive. As for me? I would rather run my errands on the way home from work than pull myself out of my bed a moment before I absolutely must. Figure out what works for you and live by it.

(7) Step away from the computer. (after you read my posts of course!) I can be completely ready to go to bed and then spend 2 hours surfing blogs, chatting with friends, responding to emails, reading celebrity news (guilty pleasure, don't judge), etc. 2 hours! I would rather spend that time working out, meeting up with friends, getting a good night sleep. And those 2 hours sure do add up overtime. If might be the TV for you, or rockband, or another time eating vice.

These tricks might not work for everyone. And if you are one of those people who already have a great system? please share with me! It is a never ending struggle for me... find more time so I can "play" more and "work" less.

Pick Your Poison

... Your financial poison that is. Everyone has one.

Here's the story. I was driving with Danielle, a friend from work (the same exact salary), and she was talking about her tanning membership. She mentioned the monthly cost and I swear my heart skipped two beats. I remained calm on the exterior while my internal alarms went off thinking "You pay WHAT to fake tan!? You've GOT to be kidding me! ... you do realize the sun is free right? and skin cancer? and..." (Disclaimer: I am not judging those who fake tan, and I am fully aware that your arms really do look more toned with a nice tan). Here's the thing though, her tanning membership is approximately the same monthly cost of my overly priced (and yet so charming) yoga studio. In the end? we end up the same. Its just how you pick your poison.

So here's the concept. No matter what your financial state is, you are going to have to make choices. For Danielle and I? Do you spend the money on a tanning membership or a yoga membership? My mom on the otherhand chooses to get her nails done weekly and a pedicure every month. Is there anything wrong with spending money on yourself? absolutely not! Everyone has their poison- the trick is to not pick TO MANY poisons.


How do we do this?
(1) Look at your big purchases. Your house, your car, your vacations. You have to decide how to allocate your income and still have some disposable income for those irresistible shoes.. oh yea, and groceries. Maybe you are a car person and could care less for a large house. Maybe you will sacrifice both for world vacations? Just realize there are sacrifices.
(2) After you look at your big purchases, make decisions with your income left over (your disposable income). Do you need to buy a bridesmaid dress this month? This might not be the month to order a round of drinks for everyone at the bar then. (When you do decide to order a round of drinks for everyone at the bar- don't forget to invite me) Pick what you spend your money on. Do you like nice highlights? or namebrand clothes?

Yes, this concept is simple. But it really, truly applies to everyone. (Even multimillionaires have to decide if they want their next mega-mansion vacation home in England or Paris) Be careful that your eyes are not bigger than your wallet.

So.... What is your poison? What do you give up? How do you decide? ....Until next time, Happy picking!

Honestly, I'm down like the economy

-Thank you Little Wayne for giving me one of my favorite lines in a rap song.

It seems as though this song is slowly becoming outdated. With the turn in the stockmarket, consumer spending, and employment, analysts predict an overall increase in growth to be higher than than 3% in 2011.

Great. So you might be asking, "What does this mean for me"? (You selfish person...)

Well, I'll tell you what it means for me. It means my rent is going to be $45 higher every month to live in the same apartment. When I went to talk to the complex owners they explained to me that they predict the economy will be higher and therefore the whole area is raising prices. (Please, don't listen to wall street, listen to the apartment owners at your apartment complex... they seem to have this whole economy thing figured out) It's funny that my job isn't giving me a raise to reflect the future change in the economy and my increase apartment rent.

Although your rent might not personally be increasing, there is still a lesson to be learned. Just because some hot shot analysts think the economy may be going up doesn't exactly give you the go-ahead to go to the mall and spend $700 on new shoes. There will always be surprise additional expenses that may pop up. (Oh, maybe like gas prices?) The financial health of the country may not completely reflect your personal financial health.

If there IS something to do differently, it should be to invest. If the economy is going up, this is the time to open an mutual fund. Take this opportunity to grow your wealth and not to spend it. Sigh, hard lesson I know.

Is this post my best work? Probably not. But I was listening to Jay Sean and Little Wayne while I wrote it before their song goes out of style.

Don't hate your commute, Embrace it!

I am pretty sure no one would argue that Oprah isn't a pretty smart lady (let's face it, she has the most successful talk show, her own magazine, extreme wealth, a good reputation, and definitely a household name). I would have said that she tends to speak more to our mother's generation. (Isn't it funny how suddenly you reach your twenties and your parent's generation isn't so dumb anymore?) BUT A great point that Oprah made on her show is that more people hate their commute than hate their jobs when it really comes down to it. Interesting, since most people I know aren't exactly ecstatic about working.

Does this apply to our generation? Absolutely. This applies to my friend who has to drive an hour north to go to grad classes 2 days a week. Or my coworkers who got assigned to a client 45 minutes away. This applies to all the people I know (and see) stuck on the interstate trying to make it to work by 8.

So what? Is the solution to move? Well, maybe, if you live in an apartment and feel like you would be happier closer to the office. But that can be a bit drastic (especially if you are only on a client for a few months, or commute a couple days a week). Maybe instead we should just learn to embrace the commute.

I was talking to my friend Emily who was less than thrilled about her drive when this idea came to me. We started brainstorming ideas to make her commute something to look forward to. Here are my ideas:

1. Connect with old friends. No, I am not saying that you should text and drive. But so many cars have hands free devices built in anyways that its a shame to waste good technology. Haven't you ever had a meal with a friend where 3 hours feels like only 10 minutes. Apply this concept to driving. Bam! You are at your destination!
2. Plan your day. This is such a good time to think about your to-do list. Figure out when you will be getting things done, and get prepared and mentally ready for the day.
3. Jam out to your favorite playlist. When else do you get to listen to your favorite songs? Sure maybe if you go for a run, but this gives you the same opportunity without the pain and suffering.
4. Learn something new. There are so many books on tape, why not learn something you've always wanted to learn? Maybe a new language? or just some new skill? Improve yourself and take the time for yourself to actually grow.
5. Relax. Really. Road rage is a state of mind. Instead of being frustrated in traffic, think of it as some extra time that you get to spend by yourself. You have no other obligations at the moment and can purely relax and spend some quality "ME" time!

Did this work for Emily? Yes. Does it work all the time? Eh, I'm sure it doesn't. But its worth a shot right?

Let me know if the theory works for you. What do you do to embrace your commute?